it had been a year…

<— More on the other guys that way!

Last night with Joe went well…

I was super nervous and as I was walking up and saw him at the bar, I got even more nervous.
 
But then I got there- and it was okay. It was like it hadn’t been a year, but just a week. He gave me a big hug and we just started talking and catching up. For a while it was just chit chat and catching up on all that had happened over the past year. But ineveitably, we talked about us and what had happened with us. I wish that I could say I had some juicy new tidbit on what had happened- but there wasn’t anything. It was the same thing we had talked about after “the night”. It was a stupid drunk fight. He doesn’t like and avoids conflict at all costs, was still interested in me but didn’t want to deal with conflict. We both agreed that it was dumb, he said he was sorry. We talked about the plans afterwards and he still maintains that “he called me but I never called him back” (true- cause he called me at 7pm the night we were supposed to hang out and didn’t even leave a message! Maybe I was being too hard on him at the time, but still!) and that since I never rescheduled he thought I was done and not interested anymore. He said how he tried to contact me again in Dec (he sent me a message through facebook) but I didn’t respond, so he left me alone. This is all true- but I felt as though if he could let “us” go after one fight , no matter how big or small it was, then he didn’t’ care. And maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. Point is- it was dumb, it was a year ago, and I feel like maybe we’re both different people now. It was funny cause he had also asked me “so- do all of your friends think I’m the biggest @hole now?” and I just said “well- I think they were just confused like I was and didn’t like to see me hurt”. What I wanted to say is – “um yea- they all think you’re an @hole!!”- but I just didn’t even want to get into all of that. If it comes down to it down the road- yea- I’m just gonna have to say “yea- you’re going to have to prove yourself to them”. But why deal with that before I need to, if I even need to.
 
I am by no means going to forget what happened- but I can move forward now. And no matter what happens, I feel at peace with things now. At any rate, after “the talk” we stayed longer and caught up some more. Then I had to leave cause I had a soccer game. He gave me a kiss on the cheek, told me how great it was to see me, and I left. I left kind of not knowing what would be next, but feeling good about everything. It feels as though a huge weight was lifted or something. And maybe it’s because I really do feel like I’m in such a different place a year later, or maybe it’s because I’m talking to 2 other great guys that I really like so I’m more confident and have more of a “breezy” attitude, or maybe it’s because I feel like loose ends were tired. Whatever it is. I feel good- and I’m going to go about things very different now.
 
So after I left, I got a text from Joe:
Him: “Thank you so much for meeting me for a drink tonight. It was really good to see u! Good luck in soccer tonight!”
Me: “You’re welcome- it was great to see you too!”
Him: “I would love to do it again if you would like to:) Clean slate?”
Me: “Yes- I would like that too. Yes, clean slate. Haha”
Him: “very clean slate- it’s been a very long time”
Me: “ok- talk to you soon”
 
And that my friends was it. So we’ll see. I am going to have fun, enjoy myself, and not think about things until I have to.
 
Tomorrow I leave to go out of town for work…again…this time to Washington DC. I’m excited cause I have some friends down there and my cousin is also going to try and come see me. Will be nice to get away from the pollen! And tonight is my first “official” date with Matt. We’re going out for sushi for dinner- he called me last night. I’m excited!