in need of change…
This is going to be a vent- so I apologize in advance…here goes:
I am VERY sick of my friends lately. I mean- there are just SO many that I have issues with. And I know it probably makes me a horrible person for thinking these things, but if I don’t get these thoughts out SOMEWHERE, then I might explode…here goes:
S- She is a freaking head case. She has anorexia or bullemia (varies), lies constantly to the point where I don’t believe a WORD she says, jumps from one guy to another and allows them to rule/control her life, acts all out of it, is always anxious and constantly needs drama in her life
M- backs out of plans all of the time once a “better option” comes along, wants to be invited to everything, but never invites anyone else when she actually has something to invite us to
H- constantly says that she’s “sooo busy with work” and wants us to all feel bad for her, yet then we find out that she’s not staying home- she’s just going out with her boyfriend and HIS friends. Will never travel more than 10 miles from her house, so if you want to see her- you have to go to HER, will not do anything without her loser boyfriend cause she’s afraid that if she leaves him for one second he might find someone else
Other M – is now married and the only subjects she can EVER discuss seem to be her boyfriend or stepdaughter, also will not travel more than 10 miles from her house
MS- disappears EVERY time a guy comes into the picture
B&K- love them, love hanging ouot with them, but they will NEVER go outside of their area of town
C,C,W- are now all pregnant or have children and seem to be a lost cause for any other topic or ever going out- well, unless it’s a dinner where I have to drive at least 20 minutes away and here them all talk about themselves and not once ask me how I am
Ugh…that felt good to get out! I’m sorry- maybe I’m being harsh- but this is how I feel! It’s just so frustrating because I feel like most of my friends these days are not people that I’m feeling like my friendship is being reciprocated with. I feel like I’m such a good friend to them- I travel as far as I need to (sometimes 45 mins away!) to see them, go to the places that they want to go to, work around their schedules/babies/boyfriends/etc. and really work at trying to see them and genuninely wanting to be around them. And in return, I get shit. And frankly, I’m just ready to wash my hands of some people as bad as that feels and as hard as that would be. I am not getting the same thing out of my friendships that I used to, and I definitely feel like I’m putting in and getting nothing out.
I want friends that have minimal drama (we all know that “no drama” is not possible with most girls! Lol..), friends that push me to try new things, friends that support me in my activities (even when it’s not a baby!), friends that I have fun with and feel like they really want to be there and not with their significant other, looking for a man, or texting on their phone!
Is this too much to ask? Is it weird that I’m “outgrowing” so many of my friends? This feeling sucks- but I also have not been happy. I need a change..
I don’t think it’s weird at all. I went through something pretty similar, and I’ve watched other friends do the same – interests change, and somewhere around the 30 mark (45 if you’re my friend The Jew, b/c you lag 15 years behind the curve, hehe) a lot of people kind of “declutter” the friends list.
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I like kids, and I like my friends with kids, but I do have a limit. I mean, I can’t talk about how many times they pooped; I’m just not interested. I also long lost interest in drama queens (or kings), people who KNOW they’re allowing manipulative men to control their lives but do nothing about it, and people that drink like 20 year olds well into their 30s.
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What you want is exactly what I want – support for my goals and endeavors, which I’m very willing to give also, activities that aren’t the same old same old… just *friends*. It’s incredibly hard to find, lol. I’m at a point where I’m acquiring new ones after a dry spell. So, yeah. In a nutshell – I don’t think it’s odd at all.
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I am experiencing the exact same thing. I just think we’ve all moved in different direcrtions and some people’s priorities have shifted. You and I have always put our friends at the top of the list, and not everyone does that. I admit, I stopped trying so hard with some people b/c I just wasn’t getting the effort in return. I also think it’s hard when so many friends are in so many different
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stages. Back in high school/college, we were all in the same place…same town, same goals (to party and get drunk ha ha), same interests–same everything! Now, some are single, some are dating, some are married, some are mommies. It’s hard to keep that friendship that we all had…that was based on being in similar places…when we’re all in such different ones now. I give you the same advice
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I give myself–there are always your true friends out there. As for the rest of them, it’s okay to put space (like we S, as we talked about). Don’t let her exhaust you to this point. It’s okay to cut out the drama queens and/or people that bring you down. It’s also okay to get out there and make new friends with similar interests. Get out there and find some single gals or some girls who like
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to run/train for events. You are a great friend and you deserve great friends in return. Okay, sorry, that was a book. I just know exactly where you are right now and I’m struggling with the same thing. You know I’m always here to chat! We should meet halfway and go to dinner soon–seriously! I mean, SERIOUSLY! š Love ya!
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you should update. š
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