ogres are like onions

Shrek: For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example. OK, er, ogres are like… onions!
Donkey: Cause they stink?
Shrek: Yes. No..
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you mean if you leave them out in the sun they get brown and start growing little white hairs?
Shrek: No! Onions have layers! Ogres have layers. D’you get it? We both have layers!
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh.You know not everybody like onions! Eh, cakes! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers!
Shrek: I don’t care what everyone likes! Ogres are not like cakes!
Donkey: You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, Let’s get some parfait, they say, Hell no, I don’t like no parfait? Parfaits is delicious.
Shrek: No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.
[pause]
Donkey: Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.
Shrek: You know, I think I preferred your humming.
Donkey: Do you have a tissue or something? I’m making a mess. Just the word parfait makes me start slobbering.

It’s a(nother) survey because I’m bored… back that way for a real entry, if you havent read it yet

10 LAYERS OF ME

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE

Name: Jennifer

Birth date: October 22, 1986

Birthplace: Phoenixville, PA

Current Location: East Bumblefuck, PA (not the real name, but might as well be :-P)

Eye Color: Deep, dark brown

Hair Color: dark, dark brown, with reddish goldish highlights that are naturally there in summertime, and not so naturally there right now 😛

Righty or Lefty: righty

Zodiac Sign: Libra on the cusp of Scorpio

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE

Your heritage: Native American, African American, and white, very white (German, French, & English)

What Shoes Did You Wear Today: brown suede isotoners (slippers, but i wear them as shoes)

Your weaknesses: men in uniform, shoes, fuzzy things, and good food

Your fears: being alone is my only fear, although I’m weird about open doors…

Your perfect pizza: extra, extra cheese (you’ll choke on it if you’re not careful) and depending on my mood, sausage too

Goal you’d like to achieve: lose a couple lbs, graduate college, find a decent guy, get married and have kids

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:

Your most overused phrase: “I’m like, not even kidding.”

Your thoughts first waking up: “Oh god is it morning already?”

Your best physical features: my eyes, my smile, my chest, my calves

Your bedtime: lately… around 3am or so… but that’ll have to change when I go back to school

Your most missed memory: shopping with my grandmother

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK:

Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi

McDonald’s or Burger King: Burger KIng

Single or group dates: Single

Adidas or Nike: no preference

Lipton Tea or Nestea: Tetley 😛

Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Smoke: Not usually

Cuss: too much

Single: yes, and at the moment loving it

Have a crush(es): maybe a couple…

Like(d) high school: at the time i wasn’t really fond of it, but now I kind of miss it

Want to get married: Yes

Believe in yourself: Generally

Get motion sickness: Nope, I’m one of the lucky ones

Think you’re a health freak:only about certain things… like diet soda and skim milk… gotta make sure I get my tea and chocolate though… full of antioxidants 😉 😛

Get along with your parents: For the most part yea… I try not to, but sometimes just can’t help arguing with them

Like thunderstorms: LOVE ’em 😀

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH

Drank alcohol: actually… i don’t think so… it was very close to within the last month though.. like the last month and a week or something

Gone on a date: yes

Gone to the mall: well christmas was within the last month, so that would be a yes

Been on stage: sadly no 🙁 i missed the choir concert b/c i had to work

Eaten Sushi: again, sadly no 🙁

Been dumped: well technically i dumped him, but i think that was because he was too much of a pussy to dump me

Gone skating: no, its been years..

Gone skinny dipping: nope, never gone skinny dipping (not for lack of wanting to, just for lack of opportunity)

Dyed your hair: highlighted it just the other day

Stolen anything: Only if accidentally leaving work with one of the pens from the office stuck in my hair counts

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER

Played a game that required removal of clothing: actually… surprisingly… no

Gotten beaten up: No, i manage to keep myself away from those types of situations

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER

Age you hope to be married: according to my life-plan timeline… 24 or 25

Number of Children: hopefully three… two boys and a girl 🙂

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