it’s a river in Egypt

I can say that I’m unaffected. I can pretend that I feel nothing. I’ve even almost convinced myself.

Almost.

I’ve been in denial.

Eric… at this point isn’t even worth my time or my energy. And yet I’m so incredibly angry with him and the way he’s treated me that sometimes I can’t even think straight. I should just forget about it. Write it off as a mistake that never should have happened. But I’m too angry and I’m too confused. I don’t understand how someone’s feelings can change just so quickly. It was like… one day he was telling me how beautiful I was and how much he cared about me and literally THE next day I was being treated like he was only hanging out with me because he had to. I hate him. And that’s not something I say lightly. It actually takes more thought and consideration for me to use the word ‘hate’ than it does for me to use ‘love’. I HATE him. Never in my life have I felt so betrayed, hurt, and confused. And I shouldn’t even care! It was nothing anyway. I shouldn’t care. I’ve said that I don’t care. But I do. And I loathe him. And my anger is just short of consuming me.

And today he smiled at me. And was nothing but civil to me. Even friendly.

And for some reason, that made me angrier than ever.

I read the past….x number of entries because it’s 4 a.m. and I have nothing else to do except watch Beverly Hills Ninja on TNT. I hope you got a decent return on that iPod. But yea, I feel for you from what I’ve read. It’s a shame when things turn out that way. I’d offer advice, but they’d only be the meaningless words of a stranger. I hope things work out for you soon.

Black Butterfly

December 30, 2005

I’m sry girl…I know what you mean tho, it does take a whole lot more contemplation to actively HATE someone…I think you’re kinda like me in the fact that….most ppl don’t even REGISTER to us, so it’s like..like a few…slight distaste for some, but HATE, man…that’s effort. Sry he pushed you to it *he sucks!* Wanna kick him oout of our universe!?!?!? I’m for it.

Wisa♥

That would make me angrier then ever also!

Hope You Have A Great New Year! Now Kiss Me! 🙂

Head Penguin

December 31, 2005

i could show u how to break his arm in 3 places at once O:-)…who knows? could be fun 🙂 (oh, and it’s easy 😛 )

Monkeyboy179

Hey, how’ve you been? I’ve missed you so much!! When you get a chance write me and tell me how you are!

I am Jack's Soul

January 31, 2006

As to kicking him out of the universe or breaking his arm in 3 places . . . well, I can’t really do either of those. However, I did take a course on crime scene investigation. So, I’m a little less likely to be caught. Not that I’m insinuating anything by that, of course. 0:)