creative writing assignment–SILLY

Remember awhile ago when Carlini implored me to write a story about a witch, a tree, and a light, and I did? Well last night JM randomly assigned me another story. I must now write a story about an egg, a graph, and a poster. I don’t think this story shall be as good as my witch-tree-light story, but lets go for it anyways… ok… here goes:

oh and for a real entry, see previous (faves only)

Once upon a time, a hen laid an egg.
Why do stories always start with once upon a time? It’s like, the person writing it was like, “Ok, I don’t really know where to start, so lets start at random event x and say that it happened ‘once upon a time.'”
I, of course, am a *much* better writer than that. (*cough*sarcasm*cough*) True, I did begin my witch-tree-light story with the phrase ‘once upon a time’ but that was largely because witches are creatures which frequently appear in fairytales, and fairytales tend to begin with the phrase ‘once upon a time.’ But I think I handled myself well in tying together the three seemingly unrelated things into a humorous short story. Of course, in that case it was much easier. Light is natural. Trees are natural. And a witch can fall under one of two categories; a person, or a supernatural being. It is much easier, to tie together natural items with people or supernatural beings than it would be to tie them together with manmade objects. Especially unrelated manmade objects. Especially manmade objects that don’t really do anything. For example, a graph. Or a poster. Both manmade objects that dont really function in any sort of mechanical way. Now how does one tie things such as that in with a natural object such as an egg? A vacuum cleaner, sure, or a television–those sorts of things I could somehow find a way to connect to an egg. But a poster? And a graph?
In my mind’s eye, I see the graph as being what is printed *on* the poster… I guess that’s cheating, by combining two objects into one, but I wasn’t given any sort of rules, so thats the way it stays. ANYWAY now about this egg….?
Oh! I know! Here we go…

Once upon a time (oh shut up) there lived a farmer who had a lot of hens. Most of the hens would lay their eggs in a nest of straw. but there was one particular, peculiar hen who refused to lay an egg in anything but a nest of shredded newspaper. Since she always produced the best-tasting eggs, the farmer made sure to cater to her necessity for clean newspaper shreds on a daily basis.
But one day, all the newspapers in the world shut down. Due to the advances of email and the internet, nobody wished to buy newspapers anymore. The newspapers who no longer found it profitable to print and distribute papers, ceased production. The farmer didn’t know what to do! His hen would not lay her eggs if she didnt have newspaper to lay them in. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the large poster with the graphs of the past 50 years egg production on the wall. (Mind you, this was a HUGE poster.) So he began to tear little pieces from it, combined with any other paper he could find–toilet paper, tissue paper, paper paper, and a little bit of straw to try to wean her to a straw nest, since he knew he’d eventually run out of paper.
The first few nests of these, she refused to lay. But by the end of the week she was laying eggs at a record pace. The farmer’s theory was that she had been deciphering the graphs of the egg production, and not one to be outdone, upped her own production to beat them. The farmers egg harvest was so big that year that he was able to buy up a small printing press, and produce newspapers for his hen’s nest forevermore.
THE END.