context changes everything *edit*

It’s funny how someone can say the exact same phrase to you twice, but because of when they said it, it can take on a whole new meaning, and cause you to feel completely something different.

When we first started dating, or actually a couple weeks after, he said to me at one point, “I’m not seeing anybody else right now.” At that point in time, I felt the emphasis was on the anybody else and it made me just about the happiest girl alive, because it meant we were on the way to the next step of being exclusive.

Today he said to me at one point, “I’m not seeing anybody else right now.” Could be just me, but this time it feels like the emphasis was on right now which makes me… not sad or upset… maybe a little jealous… just reevaluating some things… because this means that he could be thinking about dating somebody else in the near future.

And where would that leave me? Yes, he’d also still be dating me. But I’m far away. If there became another girl, she would be there, nearly all the time. What would become of me? Would I fade into the background as he grew closer to her? Or would he try not to get closer to her, in order to hold out for me? What am I really waiting for? Is this worth it?

*edit*
looksee, i talked to him–>

rahrah 24seven (9:14:28 PM): aww… you really do care 😛
Cerevisaphile (9:14:47 PM): hehe
rahrah 24seven (9:15:39 PM): you do, don’t you?
rahrah 24seven (9:16:35 PM): because, i dont want to make a big deal out of anything, but sometimes i just can’t tell with you anymore
Cerevisaphile (9:17:57 PM): I DO CARE
Cerevisaphile (9:18:02 PM): WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
rahrah 24seven (9:19:38 PM): little things.. stupid little things that shouldnt even matter
Cerevisaphile (9:19:53 PM): like are what
Cerevisaphile (9:19:56 PM): annoying
Cerevisaphile (9:20:00 PM): i makea big deal out of
Cerevisaphile (9:20:02 PM): you do?
Cerevisaphile (9:20:06 PM): i don’t understand
rahrah 24seven (9:20:37 PM): no… little things that you used to do or say all the time but you dont anymore
rahrah 24seven (9:20:55 PM): like you havent called me princess in ages
rahrah 24seven (9:21:28 PM): or when i say *muah* you dont say it back
Cerevisaphile (9:21:41 PM): well i think there are two reasons for that
Cerevisaphile (9:22:07 PM): one the more you do something the more it just becomes expected, like you now just expect me to do it so its significance is so much less
Cerevisaphile (9:23:15 PM): the other reason is that i don’t want you to be so attached to me because since i am so far away it makes it worse
rahrah 24seven (9:26:07 PM): i guess i understand that…
rahrah 24seven (9:26:48 PM): but in response to one, because i expect you to do it, the significance when you *don’t* is that much greater
rahrah 24seven (9:27:38 PM): and in response to two… i already am that attatched to you, you can’t make me more so, and trying to push me away is whats making it worse
rahrah 24seven (9:27:46 PM): yes we made a mistake rushing into things
rahrah 24seven (9:27:54 PM): and i realize we’re trying to take it slow now
rahrah 24seven (9:28:03 PM): but you can’t just ignore what we already have
Cerevisaphile (9:28:21 PM): fair enough
Cerevisaphile (9:28:55 PM): i see your point
Cerevisaphile (9:29:20 PM): and i understand your point
rahrah 24seven (9:29:41 PM): ok
Cerevisaphile (9:30:55 PM): i’ll try to work on that
rahrah 24seven (9:31:14 PM): and i’ll try to work on being less attatched and less dramatic
Cerevisaphile (9:31:48 PM): fair enough
Cerevisaphile (9:33:29 PM): then we have an accord
rahrah 24seven (9:33:45 PM): lol, indeed we do

better, yes?