intersections

“Accept people right where they are, just the way they are”~Tex Evans, Founder of ASP

Alright, alright. I’m here, I’m here.

Just a little less than a week ago, I returned from a trip down to Tennessee with my church’s ASP team. ASP, for those who don’t know, stands for Appalachia Service Project. For info about it, clickity click here or here because every time somebody asks me what it is, and I tell them, I feel like I’m not saying enough. And I recommend to anyone who has the opportunity to go on this or a similar mission trip, because you really don’t know what it is until/unless you’ve experienced it. Last year, I was able to share this awesome experience with my Ren dear. I wish she would have come along again this year, because this year was just so amazing. Obviously, the biggest part of the experience is getting to know the people you’re serving, and coming to love them. But once again, I don’t feel that words can possibly justify it, so I won’t say anything more on that part of it(I wrote something similar after my trip last year, but it got deleted in the terrible-horrible-nogood-verybad hacker attack last fall).

This year however, another part of my experience had to do with learning things about myself. It is customary for the staff members at the centers we work at to share bits and pieces of their personal faith journey. Typically in the past, I have felt that the people, when speaking were being fake, superficial, and saying things that they thought others wanted to hear. This year, the vibe I got from the staffers was one of complete realness (I don’t think that’s a word, but it is now, because I say so). At any rate, I digress. Getting to a point soon, I hope.

One of the girls, in giving her talk, said that she was once told that in order to find your place in the world, you need to find the need in the world and your passions, and see where they intersect. That is where you belong. So of course, I’ve been thinking now. The need in the world is easy to see. It’s everywhere! My passions, on the other hand, are another story. I used to think I was passionate about math and science. We know how that turned out. So what else am I passionate about? I’m passionate about reading, writing, talking. I’m passionate about art, music, and language. I’m passionate about animals, nature. I’m passionate about people. So this leaves me with two dilemnas:
a) I have too many passions, and will never be able to pursue them all. I am indecisive and shall not be able to decide which is my favorite/which to pursue further/in what way to pursue it.
b) In pursuing one or more of my passions, I will become bored/dispassionate about them (as happened with the whole math and science thing) because part of the appeal of many/any of my passions is that I am never/rarely forced to pursue any of them. I fear that taking up one or more and developing it into a course of study will drive me away from it (I tend to get bored and frustrated easily–rather short attention span).

So basically, I’m back to square one. What the hell am I gonna do for the rest of my life?

Oh, and just a P.S…. raise your hand if you think that 18 is too young to have to figure this kinda stuff out… *sigh* honestly I feel like I’m still a kid sometimes…