reflection

i found something in somebody else’s diary, that, in theory, should solve the problem i outlined in the previous entry, should i follow it (of course therein lies the problem… but tis worth a shot)

“The only way you can write the truth is to assume that what you set down will never be read. Not by any other person, and not even by yourself at some later date. Otherwise you begin excusing yourself. You must see the writing as emerging like a long scroll of ink from the index finger of your right hand; you must see your left hand erasing it.
Impossible of Course.”-“The Blind Assassin” by Margaret Atwood

now one very easy way to practice this would be to set my diary as a private diary, but that would make me (and other ppl) rather unhappy, and would (in my opinion) defeat the purpose of why i created this diary to begin with… therefore, i must try to just write without thinking too far into what i’m writing
no backspacing
no deleting
no editing
no excusing
no second-guessing
just pure, unadulterated emotion must come pouring from my heart through my hands and ultimately to this screen.
i must not address anyone, for the moment i begin addressing anyone, then i begin writing to someone…*for* someone
and just at that moment, i paused to think of what to say next, which is the moment that i know i must stop… at the time i begin to think is the time that i must stop writing