five days
five days
not only is this the number of days that i still have left to go to school (including finals), but it is the total number of days that we can get our whole group together over the entire summer. thats it. five days. obviously, there will be other times where certain members of the group can get together at a time, but all eight of us (the penguins plus laurren) can only spend a grand total of five days together. looking at the schedule while we were trying to figure this all out was highly depressing– i almost started to cry… in fact i was crying just a few minutes ago, which was why i decided to come downstairs and write here. and i don’t really have much else to say that i haven’t already said a hundred times before. but the most upsetting thing is that i don’t think everyone’s gonna be able to make it to my graduation party. whats worse is that one of said people is ryan. a lot of the schedule conflicts are the fault of ryan and alex, who are still in summer camp mode… although its really not fair to lay any blame in particular on them… but they’re each going to be gone for 3 weeks out of july! and of course its the 3 weeks that i’m home… i’m only gone for one week of July *sigh* but then there’s family vacations and stuff too… ugh! its just so frustrating!! this summer was supposed to be the best summer ever and it’s already turning into the worst. i just don’t know how much more of this i can take. its bad enough only spending weekends with him during the school year (because of a tiny little thing called school that tends to take up the week) but 3 weeks at a time over the summer??? and then when i go off to college its going to be worse… it could be months before i make it home… it seems like everytime something good comes into my life, something else has to go and screw it up for me… and i *know* everyone keeps telling me that if its meant to be, it will be, and we can still keep in touch and everything… but its just so hard not seeing the faces of the people you love everyday… not only am i leaving my boyfriend, but i’m leaving my best friends and my family to go somewhere where i won’t know anybody at all. (incase you can’t tell, i’m crying as i’m writing this) and it just seems like there’s not enough time…
Jen