hmmm
i was looking over my last diary entry and realized that ranting actually did help, and i was in a better mood the very next day… maybe its because i’m still in the “honeymoon stage” (refer to previous diary entry), but i just can’t stay mad at him for very long… and like i said before, i know it’s not his fault… parents often make kids do stupid family stuff that they won’t let them out of
besides that, while he may have wanted to come to my competition, i’m not certain that he would fully appreciate everything that i’ve put into it (then again, i didn’t think my dad would appreciate it either, but my dad told me that after today, he considers competition cheerleading a real sport) i’m probably just over-rationalizing to make myself feel better… but we haven’t been dating that long, and there will be other things at other times…. even though there are only a few months til i leave for college, i hope that there will be many more months after that…. anyway—moving on…
today was my last cheerleading competition… the last event i will ever have as a high school cheerleader (and most likely as a cheerleader, period) it has very recently occured to me just how much of my high school career i spent cheerleading, and just how it has affected me. ever since my freshman tryout in april of 2000 i have cheered almost non stop… we had practice every week during the summer, and all through football and basketball season we almost constantly either had practice or a game to go to until the end of basketball season in mid-february, and tryouts started again in april, giving me only about a month and a half off… being on competition these past two years has extended the season to mid-march instead… giving me only about 2 weeks interrum where i didn’t have something cheerleading-related going on. its sad to think that something that has occupied so much of my life for the past four years is all of a sudden gone, and never to return. it sounds really corny, but i feel that being a cheerleader changed my life… its made me who i am now, and it will always be a part of me… i say things that sound normal to me, and my friends will turn around and say to me “jen, you’re *such* a cheerleader” … lol…
anyway, i think that what originally bothered me about graduation was leaving my friends and family, but i’m less worried about that now.. now its more the nostalgia… things like cheerleading, and school dances, and traditions— all that i’ll no longer be a part of… but i know that i’ll get involved in other things at college, and when i’m done with that, i’ll look back on those things with nostalgia as well… life goes on, and you can’t be a part of everything forever… in the grand scheme of things, everything only lasts for a moment, a mere blink of an eye in the space-time continuum… if i dwell too long on the things that are gone and over, i’ll miss the things that are happening now and those that are yet to come…
~~100 years~~
Five for Fighting
I’m 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I’m 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we’re on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I’m 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I’m a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I’m 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I’m heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I’m all right with you
15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly youre wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We’re moving on…
I’m 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there’s still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 youre on your way
Every day’s a new day…
15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live