*sigh*

Today was ren’s *bandy party* which was lotsa fun, despite the fact that i was technically the only non-bandy there.  the hot tub was broken which was slightly depressing, but we played pool and watched Drumline, and it all turned out OK.  the party ended almost promptly at 10pm. as we were all preparing to leave, *he* (if u don’t know, then u don’t need to) gave me a hug, and just as we were pulling away, he kissed me! not that i wasn’t happy about it, i was just a bit confused. i mean, isn’t this the exact same guy that told me less than a week ago that he just wanted to be friends because he wasn’t mature enough for a relationship.  so just what does kissing constitute? i’ve been played by so many guys that just wanted the benefits of a girlfriend without the responsiblity– i don’t think i can do it again. but he doesn’t seem like that type of guy to me– which is part of why i started to like him in the first place…
i’ve talked to him, and he doesn’t even know why he kissed me, or what he wants to do about it… i thought guys were supposed to be the simpler of the sexes? eat, drink, be merry… every guy’s motto, right?  the problem is that i like him sooo much and i’ve been fairly sure that he likes me, despite the fact that he denies it… but i let it go… i’m sure i would have gotten over it eventually… but something like this cannot be let go, or ignored… i just wish i knew what he’s thinking…..