goodbye blue sky

usually when the phone rings late i glare at it with a jaundiced eye. tonight was no exception. my usual m.o. is to glance at the caller i.d. and hit the mute button and let it ring till whoever is on the other end gets bored and hangs up. but it was my sister this time and i hadnt talked to her in about a week and the munchkin had a race this weekend so i figured she was calling to give me the blow by blow.  and in a round about way she was.  first she had to tell me that our grandmother had died… last week.

yes shes been gone 5 days and no one knew till today.  my cousin who was living with her and supposed to be taking care of her is gone and no one knows where she is.  my sister who lives less then 20 minutes away and my father who lives only 45 mins from her all of whom were supposed to be checking up on her since she was living with tabby and tab well shes not exactly the most trusty worthy soul, as her dissapearance has shown.

wtf is wrong with my family? neglect seems to have set in.  my father whos been home for a couple weeks now and i only just talked to him since i just found out.  it hurts me to think that while i was talking to him the other day she lay in her bed neglected and uncared for.  so when he said she was fine when i asked he was lying. 

when i close my eyes and think of her i dont see her as the frail little old lady she had become. i see the grandmother that took us deepsea fishing over the summers and hauled in a bluefin that seemed the size of a whale to me at the time.  she always had a hug and a laugh. she couldnt cook to save her life but she made a mean potatoe salad. when i was there last summer i cooked for days, things i could put in the freezer and she could thaw later.

it pains me to know shes gone, but its a bit of a relief as well. she was ill and in pain but no pain so great as the one in her heart since grandpa died. she was never the same after that. im glad to know they are together again.