a very small voice

when your best friend of 10 years calls you and you dont recognize her voice.. its not a good thing.
it made me think of AA Milne  when he describes piglet as speaking in a very small voice.  piglets  voice was small because he was timid and shy.
mel’s voice was small because  shes standing on a ledge that looks very familiar to me.  one step is all it takes  to drop you off that ledge and into nothing. 
i wish i could help her.  but i dont know how.   i know how she feels and id give anything to fix everything for her.  what do you do when your best friend tells she she wants to die? i wanted to yank her thru the phone and tie her to my side until shes alright again.  certainly the reaction she got from her husband wasnt the one she needed.  he told her  ‘ oh you do not your fine’  and left her alone in thier apartment.  i wanted to yank him thru the phone and kick his freakin ass up around his ears.
i feel the need to call her every few hours just to make sure shes alright.
this weekend will be spent with her. trying to help her sort out this new life thats been thrust on her.
i hope never to hear that very small voice ever again, it scared the hell out of me.  it scared me more hearing it come from her then  it did when it came from me.  we are none of us immortal, that voice is the voice of death to me.  its the voice that everyone has when they face the end or thier need for an end. 
she was there for me when i needed her the most  and i can do no less then be there for her.

the sun rose today, perhaps it will again tomorrow.