kamabama

why does this man trouble me so much?

when i left certainly things happened and it wasnt a bad leaving  but it wasnt good either… it was just time to go.

but every day since i cant get him from my mind.

i dont write about him in an effort to banish him from my mind.  but today i give in

i dont know what to do.

he hasnt spoken to me since i left. well thats not true.. we did speak on the phone a few times  but after that he stopped calling.. no surprise there… distance and no communication makes the heart heal better.

i would think that its a guilty consciuence  if i had anything to feel guilty about.

so why?  why is he always there in my head?

perhaps a lost soulmate?  The Mother doesnt tend to like it when that happens.. maybe he and i were supposed to remain friends?  not that i hadnt wanted to … things happen  *shrug*

so i gave in last night and wrote him an email.

i wonder what it is hell say.. if anything at all. silence is often the responce when you cant think of anything to say

maybe we were supposed to be together  forever and i just wasnt ready. hell im still not ready. but atleast i recognise it. hind site is 20/20 like they say i suppose.