Jaded for the Moment

I feel alone. Left alone. On purpose.
I feel shut out. I feel rejected.
Of course I understand. That’s why I show no aggression, no anger or hostility.
But truthfully I think you guys suck.
I don’t exist anymore because I’m not fucking your friend.
Doesn’t matter that we had a good time hanging out.
Doesn’t matter that I’m not a homewrecker, just an intellectual who wants friendship.
There’s no obligation to, so you don’t.
I thought so much and hoped and dreamed. Little did I know I was your forum topic.
Calls were made instantly, like I was the president of something, other than the sad, scared little girl I am.
I was abandoned because my answer did not fit exactly with yours.
By leaving me completely alone you sealed it.
By being a wimp and not pursuing, for acting like a drama queen, for not being a man, we are now apart.
Now, by the actions you set forth, I feel no remorse in that decision. I am glad we are separate now.
Now I see why I was unhappy.
But if you had shut up and been a man about something – anything – especially us
then you might be here now. Toys, granted, since nature was unkind to your "manhood" but not to your brains, which is what entices me most on a guy anyway.
Thank you for letting this die so easily. God forbid you fight to keep me.
I’m not worth that kind of bullox.