don’t waste your time

last night could’ve been a lot of things. worse, better, more fun, less stressful. but overall, i won’t forget it.

there were a few times, just once or twice i thought tommy would lean in and kiss me but he didn’t (thank goodness). there were times when he would go off and do his own thing regardless of how other people felt which was odd, but just how he is. it was weird when eric started crying. sometimes i think he does it to get attention. some girls fawn over him bc it shows ‘sensitivity.’ he does it so much i think it shows the attention stuff and a ittle weakness, but i’m still glad he came. he didn’t let it ruin his night. like when i asked him about it later, he didn’t start it all over again, which makes me thinks it’s true (meaning, since i don’t know calvin very well, he doesn’t wana tarnish his image in my eyes altho i’d be pretty open to it but whatev) plus he’d gotten over his fit. the monster ride was the best. waiting in the line and me and tommy scrapping a little bit- him trying to flip me over the bars. the whirling and the fireworks and gina and tommy spinning crazy and evan screaming ‘debbiimgonnagetyouforthis!’ made it the best and perfect thing to end the night.

today was nice too. getting gina and having a chance for it to be just me and her for a little bit. recently it was always me, her and at least someone else. today was a nice, tired day to just go and take a slow, late lunch somewhere which ended up being ruby tuesdays. i took her home for the last time today. tomorrow i have orientation and then tuesday i see her off. i think after orientation i may stop by target or borders and see if i can pick her up something nice with the last little bit off monies i have.

we stopped by to see sean too, on our way to the bank/mall/ruby’s. she wanted a chance to say goodbye to him. he had his friends pierce his belly button.

i think i’m slowing making my way out of sean’s life. inadvertantly of course, and not of my own doing, but i am. that’s a big deal that he would’ve called or texted me about. it makes me a little sad, but there’s nothing i can do if someone doesn’t want me to be in their life as much.

besides, i’d prolly just end up killing him. on the way home from gina’s, i almost drove off the road, for no reason at all. why am i almost dying all the time now?

maybe it’s almost time for me to go..

~debbi