confide in me

all the times and ways and feelings i get that are space-y and scarey and when i zone out on the highway and feel  hollow. he thinks it’s because i love him so much that i can barely function without him. he told me last night not to love him so much that i couldn’t live. i wanted to scream. have i known him my whole life? has he always made me feel this way? when i have a choice between two was he always there pushing my hand toward the one i hated and never the one i needed to rest?

i felt kind of helpless last night because he was so tired and sick and wanted to get off the phone and rest up. he’ll call back in a few days. i’ll just lay off him i suppose. if he prefers i don’t love him.. i don’t really know what to think. i’m a little lost right now. i’m not misinterpreting what he said into a ‘get lost’ or anythng, but it’s still so sad that he thought it was all about him.

then again, he’s always been terribly egotistical. *hugs self* i better get going to class..

~debbi