vica, vica, vica *ahhhh!*

so i had the vica fun and ronnie and scott and i now all share a little inside bond thing bc of it which is nice. went and had a few cigs at bluebird and got a piece of their cinnamin pecan coffee cake. i ate it. it was crazy good. nick called early so i got to talk to him for awhile but it was sorta sad bc i had to keep moving around the whole time i talked to him, otherwise i was in danger of passing out. scheduled an appointment at b&w’s to have them look at my ankle.

if it’s anything like steph, i really dunno what i’m gonna do. she thinks hers was caused by stress and nick says that’s really superficial but all i know is that if i was one giant walking scab (not that steph is or anything, but i’d feel like that if i had psoriasis) i couldn’t help but be a little self conscious. besides, it’s not as if he loves me purely on personality. he knows what i look like and finds me attractive. if i were to suddenly spiral like that i’d feel like i was crushing him and myself in one fell swoop. i know that physical appearance is not everything to the world and certainly not to him, but it does matter, no matter what cliches people throw at you.

nk. that aside, i’m super glad i went to banquet bc i won stuff! besides them having some kickass food (chicken and rice with neopolitan ice cream for desser), i got in a drawing for some stuff. me and jeremy so wanted this mat but nena won it (jeremy traded her what he got. lucky bitch). i got a bright pink pencil that says ‘thespians do it on the stage.’ it’s nice. i also won an actual award. i got best supporting actress and am going to get a trophy thing with my name and i think my character’s name (mrs. pearce from my fair lady) on it too. it was awesome bc last year, i really wanted (and tons of people thought i deserved) the award for being jan in grease since calvin and i ran the show. but it rocks, regardless.

at the end, jeremy and i snitched some of the 39 cent flowers and left after helping clean up a little. he was getting danny and going back to his house to watch ‘animal house.’ he said he’d invite me along but his room was so fucked up that only two people could squeeze in there. i was like ‘whatev.. it’s bc i’m a girl!’ it was all smiles tho. it was kinda weird when i hugged him goodbye tho. we always joke around about he and i should sleep together and when i gave him his usual hug he kinda pushed his face against my cheek and gave me a kiss.

now, if he was my boyfriend, that kind of kiss would be taken as a cuddle-lead-into-a-good-and-long kiss.. but it came jeremy so i was like eh. freak. so i turned his head and gave him a kiss on his cheek (complete with ‘mmmmmmmmmwah!’ sound effects) and what was his response? his arm still around me in the hug and another one of those lead-into kisses on the cheek. *shrug* he’s so strange sometimes.

well, it’s midnight-ten so i’m gonna grab a cigarette and head to bed and appreciate the fact that i can sleep in tomorrow.

~debbi