sticks and stones

caught up in the world all words lose meaning the rants and raves of those drunk or sober follow that same path because in the end we are all selfish we only want what we want when we want it and how we want it but never do we stop for just that one moment to think what others want or how they feel or what the things we’ve said or done affects others reaching out to those who cross our paths things remembered others forgot everyone believing what they want true or not when all you would have to do is ask but ask the wrong person and you get a wrong response truth is we find out all too often that those close to us fail us abuse us and forget us blame pushed aside all in all because the other doesn’t want what the other wants group hysteria it’s easier to blame than to take the blame when deserved but in the end these are all made up words given meaning in a text someone made up my best friend in the world dead and gone and all my others too consumed with their own selfish acts as i myself have fallen victim i don’t hold myself to a pedestal i hold no one there because believe me it’s a mistake the truth is hard to take and sometimes everything hurts inside and out the loss of sleep still ensues thoughts become one jumbled mess as i close my eyes everything spinning fast and faster they say that comes with severe head trauma i can hardly see the letters as they blink across the screen and i wonder what does it matter have i given up on myself who believes in me things could be different they should have been different in one instant i took a wrong turn and it seems too much the effort to make it back take solace in something it used to be pills just eat them too many til the light fades and sleep takes hold alcohol helped that effect come quicker dumb things lucky i’m not dead things everything was almost quiet then almost i think of so many useless things still seeing most everyone i grew up with and sometimes i look their way just to see if they acknowledge respond give some kind of effort to no avail i’m not you’re typical person so i suppose i’m not a typical friend maybe i’m you’re typical lunatic but what is typical i’m just honest having spent too much time beating around the bush just say it what is the worst that will come of it feelings are hurt all the time everyday sometimes by just a look which means nothing and others when it means so much more fear will rule us it seems forever to some degree at some darkened corner lost to our own epiphanies

so if you care to know today i’m in all actuality broken and bruised rode a 4 wheeler flipping three times down a steep grade of rocks broke my nose in four places nine beautiful stitches and quite the few knots among my skull severe concussion bruised from head to toe future thought wear a helmet your nose will thank you

now i have a date with an icepack and some vicodin

can’t see the words to type any more………………….