takedown

little did she know the cold would sink its teeth into her flesh. she felt the jaw tightening around her, clamping down securely, and she felt it consume her. inside and out. the blanket clouded her thoughts, and she knew only the stinging of her skin, an ache she cannot soothe. soon the light began to dim, fading away as a star mocking her from the sky. you will never fly, you will never break the mold, you will lose yourself on the journey, and your indifference will be your end. she laughed a cold disheartened giggle, how could you know if i was possibly there already, and her thoughts raced. the same dignity and pride raged through her like a fire bursting out the windows suffocating for air. she will not give in to the guilty, to the need, to the want, just to feel, to believe she is alive, she will not break to know there is still a shadow of doubt reconciled within her. childhood withered black as a dead rose but the thorns still rip flesh, adolescence confused her like the sky as raindrops pour from above fleeing an angry sun beating its way through the clouds, and still she waits until that day when she has grown up longing only for the scared little girl still clinging to her life. you cannot feel the heartbeat softly within the chest, you cannot feel the longing lost within the heart, you will not outrun this animal fast upon your heels, and you will not deny the meaning of your useless ranting as a place of self release. you are consumed, devoured in the darkness, penetrating your soul like a thousand shards of glass, tempered and fragile, breaking not shattered, reaching for just one piece of containment. contain me. the warmth seeps from the mouth, teeth ripping flesh, looking for the animal inside, searching diligently, quietly, wishing the end were near, as her question remains. where are you? where is she? the noise is so loud now, she cannot drown it out with the music screaming from the speakers, loud. loud, louder still, until she hears only thoughts that are not her own.

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January 21, 2005

to be honest. kinda made me sad. this entry. yeah. but i love the way you write. its so beautiful. such beautiful words. thanks for youre notes. they make a world of difference.

Good job captain, good job. It did ring of some deeper sadness though. Well I am all too familiar with the idea of sadness, and it is something I am coming to grips with. I am done with the idea that I can ever meet someone and have a serious relationship. I have lived in a dream world for too long, and it is time I pull my head out of the clouds. Well I will talk to you later.

January 23, 2005

RYN: It wasn’t my poem. It was some songs from Michelle Branch. 😛 RYN2: Nope, haven’t heard of Lennon Murphy. What are they like?