total due on date shown

vindication seduces my senses betrayal by the closes means swift with the edge penetrating the heart the mind the heart which one should hold on which one should let go forgotten deceived portraying an innocent who by no means is so pure and the willingness creeps into my thoughts the need to perservere be strong have a meaning become anything that is something more than just this shadow who walks in my shoes pointless disheartened breaking falling away as the feet digging in slip into the abyss oblivion will asunder our roles bleeding into one another’s lives if the bleeding continues the edge must have been much sharper than it felt

i met someone the other day.

and fear quickly ensues the feeling of enticement. he was cute, and nice, i was drunk and got his number. how did i manage this?

so i have spoken to him twice since the initial attraction, but he is a smoker, something i loathe.

it is hard to pick up the phone and call him, hard to lead my thoughts away from rejection looming in the distance. but there was no rejection in the first moment, the numbers where exchanged, and we have spoken more than once. oh but the constant nagging in my insecure mind. call? don’t call? call?

whatever. i’m so undecided on what i must do.

…………………………………………

it would be nice if you called once and a while since no one answers whenever i call. let someone know you are alive and the world hasn’t caved in upon your head.

vindication

i still remember, hold onto the movements as we pushed through each other’s hearts. it drags a piece of me away with you, but i love you still, in a way i know it is impossible

but i still hear you tell me

and it still stings

the knife still clings to my flesh, some wounds never heal