harbinger of sorrow

the mood falls into a steady routine, the facade which so many place upon their faces as if going to a masquerade, it becomes endless and all consuming. revalidating those close and far alike to seek some understanding as to who i am. thoughts become obscure, and i lose myself again. i will be here indefinately, wishing upon wish that my world would become something worthwhile. and i search through endless thoughts, among each individual i know, always coming to the conclusion that i must trust only myself, fore my trust has been shattered far too many times to even continue counting, so i play with the notion that i will not count the bad because it is the happiness of life that we all seek out, and the notion only touches into the realms of probablity and philosphical enjoyment. we are a horrid race of humans, drawn to the fire like moths to the flame, and sometimes i wish only to step into the flames and let them devour my flesh as it drips away from my bones and exposes a truly empty shell. i am infact far from empty, the rampant thoughts, the voids created, the friendships tested, which always follows with most will fell. there is a part of me that longs for companionship, a part that knows there is love unabounded by the evil which encompasses this world, and that part knows that the evilness runs through my veins like so many drugs tainting the life that drowns inside of me. it smothers from time to time until one lonesome flame draws me near and all that i see and know and feel is merely a part of a fire that consumes my every thought and action until i realize that if you play in the fire forever it will destroy everything it touches till nothing is left.

the mask is reacquainted and we continue the play always aware of the end that lingers in the future…in the end it is hopeless, we are consumed by our demons so it’s best to make friends with them early in life,

without you, without you everything falls apart, without you it isn’t that fun to pick up the pieces

off to work i go joy i’m soo excited………………………..

What to say, good writing talent as always. Sorry I missed you, Luke told me you called. Sorry dear friend, and trust is something that is easily destroyed. Sorry if I destroyed your trust, I am truly sorry. Hope things get better for you, you do deserve much better than the constant struggle. I wish you love and peace dear friend. . .

I have found that life is generally meaningless if I depend upon others to give to me a sense of purpose and meaning. When I create for myself my own sense of purpose and meaning, then others flock to share that which I never knew they didn’t have. . Not enough cooks… Too many mouths to feed. I guess people need to learn how to cook for themselves. . Life seems to have or lack meaning

based upon the rolse you play: Creator, or consumer. Not of anything tangible or material… But of meaning itself. . That is why I echo the words of one whom you seem to hold dear: . “It is time to remake the myths.” . He didn’t wind up dead in a bathtub because there were too many other creators like him. . He wound up dead in a bathtub because there weren’t enough people who stopped

worshipping mytrhs long enough to help the few like him create purpose and meaning in the lives of others.