Secrets

In reading this bulletin I saw on myspace (below) I think I have come to realise many things.  And I want to share them with you all. 

In reading all the secrets below I have found some common themes.  Depression, suicidal thoughts, abuse, sexual fantasies, unrequited love.  Many of these have been experienced by many people, but people seem to feel so alone in their thoughts which makes me sad.  A lot of these things should bring people together, not isolate them, and I hate the way that so many of these things are secrets, and that all of these people feel that they have something to hide.  I want to give all of these people a hug and tell them that everything will be alright, and that happiness is what you make it, and that anything’s possible if you want it badly enough, even happiness.  I want to tell them that love is always possible.  And I want to tell them my secrets.

1. I am actually happy, and it really makes me sad that so many people aren’t.
2. I consider myself really, really lucky, as I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me and friends and family who do too.
3. I read all of the secrets below.
4. In high school I was picked on, I used to cut myself and I was frequently depressed. And I am not telling you these things to make you feel sorry for me, just to show that I got through it, and I am okay.
5. I can often relate to people’s problems, because my life hasn’t all been sunshine and rainbows.
6. I’m so scared of losing people that I love.
7. I have recently become obsessed with houses.
8. Even though I am skinny, I hate the "muffin" that I seem to have acquired, and would really like to get rid of it.  I know it sounds selfish and silly, but that’s the truth.
9. I have many embarrassing habits that only Clancy knows about, but he doesn’t mind.

I can’t think of any more secrets I have, although I have many more, but god it hurts me that there are this many people out there (and surely millions more) who feel that they have to bottle everything up like this, and that there is no one person out there who will listen.  There is.  People are usually more willing to listen than you think.  And there’s always going to be someone who can relate, even if you feel you’re completely alone in the world.  And life is far, far too precious to lose.

Secrets
There are over 500 slots here for secrets.
Add yours to the list at a completely random number, and people will never know it was you (unless they saw another friend post the last version and actually took the time to read through all the slots until they found the new one – but who in God’s name would do that?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. I’m a compulsive liar.
2. I am obsessed with him and maybe in love and yet hes my best friend
3.i rele do wish tht i would die
4. ive tried to kill myself more than once
5.one of my best guy friends has changed soo much ever since he started hanging out w/ his slutty gf and her friends
6.im pregnant
7.I STILL THINK IM IN LOVE WITH KELSEY LOL WHO IS IT?
8. i think my older brothers friends are sooo hot
9. I’m afraid the love of my life will leave me one day for my best friend. He tells me he won’t, but I’m paranoid.
10. I’m not going to German/Italy next year. yay? [and I want to hug some of these people…]
11.IM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM
12.i cry myself to sleep at night because im not with him
13. i like someone but i dont know what to do.
14. im giving more than one secret
15.i say i hate hugs but i actually love hugs
16. my best friend was stationed here in the navy and he went back up north, i fell deeply in love with him, i tell him i love him and he tells me he loves me, but i dont think he really knows just how much im in love with him
17. i just want someone to hold me again..
18. this girl used to be my friend but im not her friend anymore bcuz she uses people and she is a slutttt. im trying to tell my friends that shes using them too
19. i was physically abused by my father growing up
20. i really really really wanted you to move my hand down there, for real.
21. im still in love with my ex of 4 years even though he was killed in a car accident
22.i’ve cut myself, my friends have told me to not do it again…but i actually enjoyed it and i want to do it again…but if i do i’m afraid they will hate me.
23. my best friend is two faced and i really dont care for her anymore, i only hang out with her because shes really my only friend that i can have fun with when were out
24. I want to hit her! She’s soooo annoying! Why can’t she just take the hint and stfu?!
25. i tell more than one guy that i love him but i dont know which one im really in love with because i really dont know what love is, its more than what i think it is
26. i lost my virginity at 15
27. i want to have a baby right now
28.youre really annoying. and it really bugs me. i cant keep saying im tired to avoid conversations. one day i really will hit you.
29. i use to be a bisexual
30.One time i brought this random chick in the malls hand to my penis, and she led me into the bthroom and we fucked, hard, doggy style.
31. my father use to molest me
32. my older brother use to molest me
33. I am so sick of pretending i just want to be his friend.
34.truth is i think I Love you
35.being with you is everything i want and need
36.your starting to realize that shes not the right girl and I am….
37.You keep telling me i’m just pretty in a different way, I hope you know that just makes me feel worse.
38. i am so in love with my best friend and want to marry him
39.people think that my best friend is a slut and the truth is, i have done SOOO much more things than her and i dont get called anything like that because i dont put myself in those situations.
40. sometimes i feel really ugly
41.i hate the person im in love with
42. i sat here and read all of these to make myself feel better.
43. i think my dad is having an affair
44. I sometimes hate my family, and I wish I would live with my boyfriend or best friend.
45. im scared my ex is going to o.d. and kill himself.
46. sometimes i feel really fat
47. i wish he would leave. i secretly hate him.
48. sometimes i wish i had a completely different body
49. i have had sex with him, more than once, i tell eveeryone i havent just because i dont want to be called a slut or something.
50.my friends say im really funny but deep down im depressed. and its all because she broke my heart. more than once. on valentines day.
51.im so scared hes going to hurt me again
52. i wish guys liked me for who i am
53. all i want is for one guy to prove to me they arent all the same
54.i dream about him every night. I cant stop. I secretly wish him and his gf would break up.
55. I’m in love with my best friend, and no one knows except for him and me.
56. I used to be so depressed but no one ever knew
57. I feel like my friends are using me. They just don’t want to hear my mind. They don’t like me. They don’t care. They probably don’t even know I’m dying inside everyday because of them.
58.i think about diein every day
59.Im so confused with life i might or might not love this guy idk
60.I wish my mom loved me
61. i wish that my world was perfect, and the girl of my dreams would run away with me to escape this household..
62.Im in love with two guys my ex and a guy …but hes taken but he alwayz flirts with me & i’d tell him to stop but he wouldn’t.
63.I love this thing, I can express my feelings in anyway (:
64. I fucked around with my house who is married!
65. We had sex before he left…. more than once. No one knows.
66.I STILL LOVE HIM ….ALOT….but i like some one els
67. im going to write more than 1 secret
68.i wish i could be in california again
69. my ex gf turned into a loser, the girl i like will never like me, countless girls talk about how hot i am but im still a virgin, go figure.
70.im jealous of my bf’s exes.
71. i hope my mate fucks over he’s girlfriend hardcore
72. im racist, but thats not a secret :p
73. im in love withh him and i wish i wasnt because he hurts me.
74. i used to cut … badly. im lucky to be alive.
75. i hope my friend burns in hell for being such a hipocritically slut
76. hes cheated on me once, and i hear that he does it to me still.
77. i hope he’s mates fuck up the house
78.I have a boyfriend for a year but so badly want to flirt with other men
79. i was going to kill myself over him, but realised he wasn’t worth it or even a single thought anymore
80. my bf thinks im a slut
81.
82.
83.I want to know the truth about my parents, and beat the shit out of my own mother
84.
85.
86.
87.i think hes nice. really nice. but hes using you. i feel it. b.c. im your best friend. and if you lose your virginity to him…youll get so hurt…
88.
89.
90. everything is changing. especially our friendship.
91. When with friends I feel like I’m the ugliest person in the world because they are all so much prettier than I am…
92.i love him with all my heart, and i really do trust him but its hard when you dont really know the real truth.
93.
94.i’m afraid my friends will know what secrets are mine.
95. i’ve gone anorexic before for 3 months,and now i feel the need to. & sometimes i get so stressed out i cut myself without anyone knowing. i dont even like my best friend or love him like everyone thinks i do. kdfhsjfds
96. i wish the world would end and i could go to heaven.
97.
98. i hate my friends
99.
100.I really like s.h still but i dont want anyone to know. he has a gf, and i found out he liked me to. but now its to late.ugh
101.
102. Being with my best friend makes me feel ugly.
103. Makes me so angry when people take life for granted
104. All I want is someone to tell me they love me and mean it
105. I have slept with nine guys. No one knows about one of them, except for the people that he’s told, and one of my close friends, because I’m ashamed of it.. No one knows about another because word just hasn’t gotten around yet. I’m sure it will. No one knows about a third.. except for one of my friends, and whoever he’s told. I kind of regret it, but I’d never tell him that. I told myself I’d stop before I hit ten. I don’t think I will. I can’t really, actually control myself.
106. I have a "friend"and i think that the only reason im still "friends" with her is because i feel sorry for her and i feel really bad about it but i dont want to hurt her feelings by telling her i dont really like her
107.I hate myself.
108.I dont know if i love him anymore
109.Im broken inside but hey everyone is apparently
110.my best friend and my mom think that one of my good friends is in love with me. but im in love with his best friend. who loves me back…and i used to love the other one. im so confused.
111. I hate everyoneeeeeee.
112. i wish my brother showed me that he loves me.
113.I want to be skinny. i am told i already am but ive seen myself in the mirror and im not.
114.
115.
116.i may look like the nicest girl ever but im really a total conceited bitch
117.
118.I am a bitch too. i love it but i try to hide it.
119. I can’t think of a good way to kill myself.
120. And I can’t find the guts to do it and I wish I did.
121. I’m really arrogant I’m just too shy to say anything abut it
122.
123.
124.
125. my best friend doesnt know the real truth about me…and i really want to tell her but she will judge me, and i hate to be judged.
126.
127.
128.
129. when i look into her eyes, i forget about the people of my past who treated me lyke shit. ive never been treated so well….i feel lyke weve been 2gether longer than we really have. i wanna spend the rest of muh life wit her…
130. maybe i just want him bc i know he will take care of us, then again he makes me so happy that i really dont care about his money or material things… i just want him, to be with me, forever. 🙂
131. I’m in love with him but I can’t tell him.
132. i’m beginning to believe that i’m bisexual and partially insane
133. I know it’s disgusting, but i’ve had fantasies of having sex with my cousins and step sister.
134.
135. I think about having sex with people who walk by me day-by-day.
136.
137. We’ve been broken up for months and, even though I hate almost everything about him, I still miss him. No one else compares to the way he treated me when he tried me good. I also miss the way that he knew which spots to kiss…
138.
139.I miss the way things used to be.
140. i wanna be with him forever but i dont think he wants the same thing
141.
142. I want to give up, but I don’t have the guts to.
143. I love rap music but tell everyone I don’t.
144.
145.
146. i HAVE the will power to kill my self any second.
147.
148. i have an obsession with joe jonas. (:<3
149.
150. im afraid of my best friends dad.
151.
152.
153. i don’t cut my wrists, i cut my finger tips.
154.I want to have sex pretty much all the time
155.
156.
157. i used to be addicted to pain killers, and im only 14.
158.
159. Used to smoke pot, loved it but stopped, but so badly want to smoke again
160.
161. i like to do things sexual with my boyfriend.
162.
163.I love a guy thats going out with two girls. Ive been in love with him, but because of what has happened to me in the past I was afraid of a real relationship with him. So I fucked it up 5 times, and now he loves her likes the other girla dn Im the last thing on his mind. I secretly hope every moment Im with him that he will break her heart for me and we can run away and "live Happily ever After"
164.
165. everyday, i think of things that could happen that would cause me to die. most of the time i think of getting into a car accident. today, when i plugged my laptop in to charge, i imaged it blowing up. does this mean i want to die?
166.
167. He violated me without asking. I’m not going to tell anyone because I’m ashamed. I’m sure that he’ll tell someone, because that’s what guys do.
168. I fantasize about my sister in the shower =O
169.
170.
171.I’m gonna be lost when my sister goes to college this year. D:
172.i hate how he flirts with every girl but saying sumthing about it only makes our situation worse
173.
174.
175. i break the law all the time, and ive only got caught twice.
176.i wish he would’ve kissed me the night he snuck over.
177.i sometimes lie to my best friends
178.
179.
180.
181.
182. i cry almost everynight.
183.
184.
185. I’m afraid to tell my best friend I’m bisexual.
186.
187.
188.i’m stuck in a love triangle and the girl that im talkin to cant go out wit me cuz her dad is racist.
189. my friends say they are sluts, but i think theyre really nice! and i dont know how to handle this.
190.
191.
192.
193.
194. i got raped by my uncle , and i payed him .
195.
196.
197. I really, honestly, do not think he loves me. It bothers me that he tells ugly girls that they’re beautiful, when they aren’t even beautiful on the inside. It bothers me that he tells his ex-girlfriends that he loves them. It bothers me that he ignores me for something material.
198. I cry myself to sleep at night :'(
199.
200.
201.i wrote three secrets.
202.
203.
204. I like older boys
205. ^ me too….
206.
207.
208. i’ve replayed that last kiss with him in my mind almost every night since it happened [it was june 07], and i cant help but to think he’s forgotten me.
209.
210. I’m putting more than one secret.
211. I’m tired of getting hurt.
212. I don’t know if I’m really a Christian anymore. And I claim to have been saved recently.
213. I love him but I can’t say anything!!
214. It bothers me that we have no communication.
215.
216.its annoying how so many girls like theyre best frineds o here but yet here i am single and really likeing one of mine
217.
218.
219. im alone all the time. i cry everyday. my mom makes me cry a majority iof the time. my grades are low b.c. ive stopped caring. i really have stopped caring altogether.
220.sometimes i think about killing myself….sometimes more than usual
221.
222.
223. i like being depressed, but i don’t like the attention i get from it.
224.
225. I’m in a gang and can’t get out and I’m so terrified
226.
227. I think you’re using me for sex. Well, guess what? I’m using YOU for sex. It’s damn good, too.
228.
229.
230. I’m terrified of my dad, even though he never did anything to make me that way, it’s just the way he looks at me.
231.
232.
233.
234. I wish I could stop caring.
235.my friends are all talk. they don’t miss what we used to have. they just say that to make me shut up. they’d fix things if they really cared that much. i give up on you guys.
236.
237.
238.I wish I had a boyfriend, so I could feel loved.
239. i liked so many girls i didnt no who to hu with, and none of them no about each other, but it doesnt matter, me and my bestfriend are fallen for eachother and i love it.
240.
241. i’m gay and i luv my best friend
242.
243. I DO NOT TRUST YOU.
244.i secretly wished my friend would get pregnant at 15.
245.
246.Im in love with my best friend & I cant get over it.
247.
248.
249. i like to have sex with animals.
250.
251.
252. he always thinks ive cheated on him, but i never have, but hes cheated on me before.
253.
254.
255.
256.
257.
258.
259. i have never thought about killing myself, but i have thought of hurting myself, and what it would be like if i was gone.
260.im not even on birthcontrol and my and my boyfrend never use a condom!
261.
262.i wish i could get the hell out of this place and go back to pensacola
i hate it soooo bad here…….
263.
264.
265. I’m cheating on my girlfriend with her sister and she’s better
266. Im in love with someone who use to be my best friend. i never told him. and now its too fucking late. he says he still has feelings for me now.. but i think its all a joke
267.
268.I love him so much. but he has a girlfriend. it seems like they wouldnt last but they are. i want him so bad. i dream about him every night and i would do anything just to be with him. my tears fall for him. :[
269.
270.
271.
272. I think about having sex with girls, and i am a girl.
273.
274. I started this, and added extra so people wouldn’t notice.
275.
276.
277.
278.
279.i dont take my antidepressants everyday. i forget a lot. and it jacks with my system.
280.
281.I was in love once and i had my heart broken, now im scared to ever let anyone in again, i feel like i will never find anyone else, and never feel tru happiness again, even though i put out this happy exterior to everyone else
282.
283.more and more people keep noticing my struggle to stay happy. even my best friends boyfriend noticed and he hardly knows me…im scared that its starting to show.
284.
285.
286. I secertly dislike one of my friends best friend.
287.
288. Im still in love with you
289.
290.
291.I wish I was skinny.
292. im disgusted at how i look sometimes
293.
294.I’m gonna cry SO hard on the last day of 8th grade.
295.
296.
297. I’d rather be ’emo’ then a ‘prep’.
298.
299.
300. I wish I could be confident.
301.
302.For most of my life I’ve done nothing but lie to people to get through life. To get jobs, to make friends, and to get in girls pants. My whole life has been a facade. And because of this I’ve hurt so many people through out my life so far. I wear a mask all the time and can never be myself anymore cause I’ve created this world around me that everyone believes in. I guess you can say I’m a compulsive liar, but I really think it’s beyond that now. I live in a make believe world of my own and no one know how hard it is to keep up being this character I’ve become all the time. I’m an actor that never stops his performance and can’t go back to his normal self.
303.
304. i feel sorry for myself.
305.
306. i don’t kno how to love other people.
307.I thought she had a brain.
308.
309. I’m addicted to pot and my dad’s the one that gives it to me
310.
311.
312. i’m loosing so much weight it’s kind of scary.
313.
314.
315. I haven’t had a boyfriend for over a year because I’m scared to get hurt again.
316.
317.
318. i like my best friend but he will never know
319.
320. i fixed the spelling on a lot of these.
321.
322.
323. i drink my feelings, and i love to get drunk, im only 14.
324.
325. i talk 2 this boy, but i’m afraid that he thinks i’m someone else, and when he see me he will think i’m ugly and fat as hell.
326. Ilied about who i lost my virginity to.
327.
328. I think i’m falling in love, and it scares me so much.
329.
330. It’s been over 6 months since the last time I cut myself, but it gets harder every day. Ain’t it supposed to be the opposite??
331.
332.
333. I miss him so much, and he knows it. I love him, and he doesn’t know how much it kills me inside to know he doesn’t love me back.
334. i really want to kill myself. just to see if anyone really cares, cuz i don’t think anyone would give a shit if i died. isn’t that bad?
335.I have never orgasimed before, but one night i was making out with my best friend, fell for her and we dod some stuff and she brought me sooo close. I fell in love with her THAT night and wish we could be together still. She is one of the most amazing people ever and I still love her to this day. P.s. She is soo cute and a greeeeat kisser =]
336.i cant find myself i make up lies so i can fill cracks from things to do to things i buy to people even to i have made a a fake world to live in becayse my life isnt very fufuling
337. my "bestfriend" pisses me off with everything she does.
338.im in love with you,even though we cant be together,boy your my world,i love you soo much.
339. my friends wont accept me 4 who i am.but i wont do any thing cuz i cant loose them
340.
341.
342.
343. I hate being called a prep but I can’t help it I’m prettier than they are! It’s not my fault!
344. im putting more than one.
345.
346.
347. I know that after what you did to me that I should never forgive you. That I should only think of you as the weak and pathetic twenty-one year old that gave into the peer pressure of his friends to dump his girlfriend only to cry on her shoulder five months later and tell her that he’d been looking at engagement rings for her. Tell her that you need to make a decision only for her to find out over the internet two days after Valentine’s day, over a month of waiting for you, that you had moved on. Congradulations. You broke her heart again. But the truth is, after all this, you say the words, and I would take you back in a second. Because I fucken love you. And I am an idiot for that.
348.
349.
350. I am autistic, and really have no emotional relationship with my parents whatsoever, but I try to pretend because it makes them happier and therefore my life more comfortable.
351.
352.
353. I have gotten naked on webcam for a pedophile when I was 13 and loved it.
354. My cousin and brother took advantage of me when i was in 3rd and 4th grade.
355.
356. I really like more than 20 people. I wanna have sex with all of them.
357.
358.
359.one of my best friend is a slut
360.i love my boyfrend but i just dont think wer meant to be,and i cant end it
361.
362. I have the best boyfriend in the world.
363.
364.
365. i hate what i have become… i changed myself for every1 else… i like being noticed but its just not me anymore…
366.
367.I think I love my best friend. 😮
368.
369.
370.i fucked 3 girls …whitch were all sisters….and then the mom came in and yeah i did her 2 !!
371.
372.
373. BROOKS INLOVE WITH MARCUS159….
374. I hate the way i look altho i tell myself everyone should luv themselves i just want to be beautiful and have tru luv. but in order to get tru luv i have to luv myself. which will be the hardest thing ever. I dont kno what i want from life and that scares me.
375.
376.i wish he would just realize how much i love him.he tells me he loves me.and he swears up and down that its true.and i cant help but to believe him.he is the best guy i have ever met.but he needs work.
377.
378. My dad tried hitting me once, & I could do nothing about it.
379.i think my boyfrends messing around with his old fuck buddy:(
380.
381. i secretly want to be bad, but everything holds me back. i’m so paranoid.
382. i have been contemplating for about a year, whether or not to tell him how much i truly care for him.
383.
384. i have gotten naked on my web cam before to show my body off to one of my boyrfriends.
385.
386. I wish I could stop caring about my ex-boyfriend.
387. I secretly wish my boyfriend would break up wit me
388.I am absolutly crazy about him and we’ve only known eachother for about a month but i cant stop thinking about him….AND I WANT TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND AND HIS BESTFRIEND!!!
389.
390.I broke my resolution that i wouldn’t drink anything this year. i had brandy on monday.
391.my mom walked in on my masturbating mulitple times, but she never realized it.
392. im so scared of loving again after i lost you cos ill never love someone like i loved you…. she cant love u like i do now.. its been over a year.. all those sweet words were lies…
393. im so scared of growing older, and losing you.
394.
395.i don’t know who has my heart anymore.
396.
397.
398. I know the secret of the person who posted this before me…and I don’t know how to help.
399. ^^ me too… and my heart is completely torn to pieces now.
400. I like someone I met on the internet.
401.im a a slut and no one knows
402. A family member of mine committed suicide
403. i dont think he trusts me.
404. i just wanna be happy… i wanna be me
405. i dont even trust my best friends. they think i do. but i really don’t. i can’t.
406. I have over dosed
407.i have a boyfriend..but im in love with someone else…♥.♥
408. I cant do this anymore. my friends dont know what ive held in for so long no1 does and each night i cry till their red. ive lost mi best mate on a train accident last year. ill never be the same person i used 2 be. i need 1 certain person but hes never going to be around anymore cos hes wit her… he broke my heart… i cant trust again after that.
409.i like this guy 4 a long time but he will never no cuz that will only make things worse
410.G.E. i want you. but you broke my heart.
411.i took 18 diet pills in one sitting, all i got was the shakes. i was hoping for death though.
412.
413. I wish someone would figure which one of these I wrote.
414.im constantly hurting no matter what and no one has any idea
415.i wish you would realize how much of a jerk you are. youre one of my best friends. well. you used to be. but now youre just a mean guy who doesnt care anymore. i want the you i used to know to come back.
416. i’ve slept with over 40 people..and im a girl!
417. im so sick of guys shit! this is pathetic O I LIKE U SO MUCH UR SO SPECIAL TO ME! sound fimilar girls? FUK U!
418.
419. He cheated once, im scared hes cheating again
420. I;ll never find the person i need in life becos he leavt me for that slut.
421. i just want to go back to my good life. this one sucks! please come back!!!
422. i had a sexual relationship with a 21 year old man when i was 13.
423. I’m torn between loving two very different people, too bad I don’t have a second chance with either of them. I don’t even know if they were honest when they told me they "loved" me.
424. If people get too close to me, my body starts going all shaky and my limbs hurt. :/
425.i feel alone.
426. i made out with a guy who was engaged and haven’t told anyone.
427. HES A PRICK
428.i feel discusting everyday.
429.
430. I miss a guy holding m