confused :(

my ex, the one i havent really talked about, texted me at 1 this morning.. I rolled over about 3 and i saw his number on my phone.. he texted me and said "hey girl".. i still havent texted him because i want him to make the effort and prove to me that i matter and that he just doesnt want a rebound.. he needs to earn me back, even as a friend..

we met at the park one night. we were all gonna go to some street races, but we decided to do an all night rolling party instead.. He was supposed to be the center of the party, but he sat in the bed of the truck with me all night keepin me warm and we just talked all night.. I’ve never been with anyone like him..

it hurts because i still have strong feelings for him… we werent even together that long but we made so many memories and i have never been that happy in my life before.. I was at peace with the world and i felt whole again.. there were days where we would just lay on the couch all day and watch movies, and there were days where we were with all our friends.. we made time for everyone.. We got in a water fight one day while we were washing my car and his truck.. I was swinging on the swing and he sprayed me with the water hose so i took off after him and we started wrestling and he threw me over his shoulder and put me on the trampoline lol..

i drove his truck more than he did when we were together lol and when we were together we never texted other people.. if a girl would text him, he would hand me his phone and let me see the message and then delete it.. I never once had to ask.. The first time he ever did it, we were sitting at the park and he put his phone in front of me and said I want you to see what Heaven sent me (she is his ex).. She had sent him like a 5 page message tellin him how much she loved him still and how it hurt her when she saw us together… I didnt even ask to see it. I miss wakin up to good morning text messages and talkin to him all day.. even after we broke up, we still hung out everyday and people didnt even know we broke up because we acted like nothing changed..

he was always holding me in his arms or cuddlin with me when we were out with people and if he was doin somethin, his eye was always on me.. I left one time without tellin him to run a friend home and before i could get back from goin a minute down the road he was callin to check on me…

the girl he dated right after me made me feel like crap one night… they were fighting and i was trying to talk to her to stop her from crying.. i walked in and heard her say that when i come around and he sees me, he acts like she doesnt exist. she said that while they were out in public, he acted like she didnt exist… especially when i was around…

he randomly texted me a few weeks after we broke up and i played the short answer game and acted like i didnt care about him anymore, and later that night he showed up at the park and i just acted like he wasnt even there.. he came up and grabbed my hips like he always used to do and was flirting with me but i was bein short with him.. He went on the other side of Matt’s truck and i was on the passenger side.. I was hanging in the window talkin to everyone havin a great time and he stared at me the whole time he was there.. i could tell it was botherin him…

He always said that i gave him butterflies when he kissed me and that had never happened before and that he had never felt like that in such a short time.. He had given up on dating after him and his fiance broke up , but he said that when he met me there was something about me that made him want to try again..

I was still hurting from Pj but i took a chance with Jesse.

He was like my best friend.. He used to tell me everynight to text him and let him know when i got home so he wouldnt worry about me.. We had this cute little thing where we double pinkied promised stuf and then we would seal it with a kiss..

He broke up with me because he had alot going on in his life that he needed to get straight and he said that it wasnt fair to us. I guess he meant that he couldnt focus on me like he wanted..

I dont know what to do.. Part of me wants to text him back but the other part says just wait and see… I wanna know i still matter to him…