More on SIL

 I tried to get a hold of SIL on Tuesday to see how her meeting with the lawyer went and hoping some good news was given to her.  I didn’t hear from her until last night and guess what?

The prick up and took the kids up to Michigan without even talking to her!  

Now, here is the excuse that they’ll give which I promptly told her she really needs to stop talking to the bastard’s father.  See she’s been trying to explain the gravity of her husbands issues to his parents in hopes they’ll intervene.  They’ve expressed concern in past years but basically chose not to get involved.  And things really have spiraled in the past three years or so.  BIL, as usual, is sending a barrage of text messages but won’t pick up the phone.  SIL told his father that if he would pick up the phone and actually have an adult conversation to discuss it, she would probably be fine with him visiting family with the kids.  So, you know what the dad did?  Called his son and told him she gave permission!!!!  Ugh, just ugh.  

I mean, really?!  That is just wrong.  His parents are divorced (shocking, I’m sure) and his dad’s new wife even called my SIL and told how wrong that was to do and how mad she is.  So she’s keeping on eye on things for her while they are up in Michigan.  

I’m sure she’s falling to pieces and now I know why she’s been so scared to leave.  Those kids are her life.  She has been with them since they were born and he just yanks them away for a week?

I asked her what the lawyers had to say about it.  And basically it comes down to he didn’t do anything illegal since there is no paperwork in the system yet that they are getting divorced.  He has just as much legal right.  Legal, apparently.  Complete asshole shithead?  Most definitely.

And of course that is the best thing for him to do after insisting that he has the kids all week.  He gets to go up there and take as much responsibility for the kids as he usually does since the other family members will continue to enable him by taking care of them the whole time. Plus he’ll stay on his meds showing how "normal" he is.  And even though the family has voiced concern in the past for his behavior, when it comes to it, they’ll conveniently push it away and stand behind him.  I get to personally see the ugliness that comes out in people in situations like this, especially when there are kids involved.  I think they know if they fully acknowledge the reality of it all, BIL would lose all rights to the kids. 

Oh, and these are not the first lawyers she’s talked to in the past couple years.  The problem has been that she has not had the money to provide the retainer.  It appears the lawyers agree that a strong enough case can be given.  Their first tactic is to have a joint meeting next Monday to discuss her terms to see if he is willing to set things up without going through the court (sadly, I don’t see it happening).  Basically her terms are he needs to move out of the house so she and the kids can move back in (where the kids belong), she has the kids and he can have them one night a week and every other weekend (usual), plus he needs to get a psychiatric evaluation and test done.  From there she’ll see what has to happen.  If he refuses, she’ll have to serve him paper for the divorce and start handling things legally like getting him out of the house, etc.  
 
They suggested finding at least six people who could write letters explaining anything they’ve observed personally that would constitute as poor parenting, emotional issues, abuse, etc.  That way he can see the severity of it and the people willing to go to court and tell their stories.  We’ll be providing our own letter obviously.  Remember the Thanksgiving they were here and she miscarried?  Then there was the visit we had when we went to see her daughter for the first time.  That was pretty epic too.  And I know she has enough other friends who will do the same.  I’ll be curious to see who he’ll get to talk against my SIL in court?  Oh wait.  Other than family, he has no friends.

Things are going to get expensive if they head down this road.  🙁  And the infuriating part is BIL will not have to own up yet again because I guarantee daddy will come to the rescue and pay for all his legal fees.  *grrr….*

So, SIL will be in limbo the rest of this week and weekend.  She won’t see the kids until Monday if I’m correct.  I hope she went over to the house and took pictures of it to show the lawyers.