True Blood in Three More Sleeps
Q&A with me
so, "Alice", it’s been such a long time. how’ve you been?
Not bad….. okay, not too bad. There’s a rat underneath the pig’s house, which is like a dog house, only a pig lives in it. I feel like I’ve got a mad, murderous virus that’s making me feverish and consider sitting outside and waiting for the damn thing with a shovel. It’s not fucking Stuart Little, it’s a rat and it’s freaking my pig out as well as myself. Possibly because we share so much DNS…. with the pig, not with the rat, though i question that….. but I digress.
why haven’t you written anything in so long?
Pills, PTSD, I dunno. A lack of anything good to say though I certainly could have regaled you with the various ways in which I jerk off complete with the porn clip reviews. I just have no interest in watching a "story’. I just want to watch something sliding in somewhere over and over and it doesn’t always matter generally what’s being slid or whose doing the sliding. While watching "A Dirty Shame" I realized there’s a proper Latin word (I don’t know if it’s Latin) for peopke who get off on fruit, with fruit, oh, you know what I mean. Now I don’t have a penchant for fruit but I know another who does and so I found it fascinating that there was a label though really our society insists on everything having a label so I don’t know why I was surprised. That was a long sentence but maybe the short answer to the question at hand….. but I digressed.
what’s your astrological sign?
Capricorn
what are you in the chinese zodiac?
Ox
why are you so cynical?
See the answers to the last two questions. Combine the answers and voila!
You’ve got this Capricorn friend. She’s so funny with a very dry sense of humor. But is a little on the serious side sometimes. You think she’s perfect. You are interested in being more than just friends. How do you get her to notice you? Here are the ABC’s of attracting a Capricorn.
Be on time.
If you are the type that is perpetually running 15 minutes late, you might want to set your clocks ahead so you can be right on time. Your Capricorn is extremely conscious of money. And as the saying goes, time is money. So, don’t waste any of their time. They will see you as frivolous and not worth their time.
Be as intellectually stimulating as possible.
Capricorns are enamored by several subjects. If you can talk seriously about art, music, theatre, or politics, you will get them to notice you. Keep your unfounded, far-out, radical opinions to yourself, however. Capricorns are conventional, and traditional. They will not tolerate off-the-wall opinions very well.
Buy them a practical gift.
The emphasis is on the word "practical" here. A Capricorn appreciates good quality, but good value. A good idea here would be a book. Historical biographies or a book dealing with money might be a real winner. A bad idea would be expensive jewelry or cologne. This type is far too aware of how much things cost for her to respect you for splurging on something totally unnecessary to make an impression.
Be realistic.
Capricorns live in the real world and will not appreciate anything done on impulse. So if you are the spontaneous sort, you better find yourself a different sign. And also, dreamers need not apply. Keep your head out of the clouds and firmly on the ground if you want to attract a Capricorn’s attention.
Be amusing.
Although your Capricorn may seem a little serious, and well, plain Eeyeorish on occasion, she does love humor. She uses her humor as her emotional lift. Capricorns are witty and will surprise you how extremely funny they can be.
Do what you say you are going to do.
Don’t promise to meet your Capricorn for a movie and at the last minute bail out on her. If you say you will do something, do it. Capricorns do not like people who do not follow through.
Be supportive of their ambitions.
Capricorns desire success, money, social status, and authority. If you are not on board with their pursuit, you will be left aside. So, do not make fun of them about how much time they spend at work, or how careful they are about money. You will hurt their pride and they will not forgive anyone who belittles them.
If you follow the ABC’s to attracting a Capricorn, and you can supply her with the encouragement her somewhat melancholy ego requires, you will find yourself a faithful companion who will never leave your side or cheat on you. Earn her trust, and you will earn yourself a Capricorn. But I digress….
what are the secrets you’re keeping that you hate having in your head?
Spanking. Are you kidding me?
why do you hate republicans so much?
Go fuck yourself.
what three words best describe your thoughts on pretty much everything right at this moment?
Are you kidding? Go fuck yourself…. but I digress
right at this moment?
Are you kidding? Go fuck yourself…. but I digress
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