raising pain

I am sad and stupid. I have once again entered almost irrevocably into a relationship I am horribly unsatisfied in and can’t blame anyone but myself. Over and over the only one’s who want me are crazy and keep me on a sexual starvation diet. All the good ones just don’t want me; too much of a handful. High maintenance but I think I’m low maintenance….. so sad and so stupid.

What am I going to do about it….. wait ’til he dumps me; that seems to be my m.o.

The good one went back to his own country. The one who was good in bed eventually killed himself.

My ex fucked everyone but me and the soup of the day fucks no one (I hope).

It can’t be good for the post traumatic stress disorder.

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Looking at the sad and the stupid,I am hollow, just a mirror for his

reflections and reactions and reflexes and raisings.