been a bad blogger again!

Sorry I haven’t written in a while, I just haven’t been much in the blogging mood…
 
So Chris & I got in a huge fight a couple weeks ago.  It started b/c I was sitting around thinking about how cold & miserable it was outside & how much I need to take a vacation.  I haven’t gone away anywhere since Chris & I went out east last summer for a few days.  Chris is going to his friend’s wedding in FL on the 26th while I am stuck here on crappy Long Island.  I’m really annoyed that I couldn’t go w/ him cuz dates aren’t allowed (how friggin cheap), so his friends of course made a guys trip out of it.  When I first found out about this in Nov, I got so mad that I decided if he was gonna go to FL than I was gonna go too, so I convinced my sister we should go to Disney.  After quitting my job in Dec, I decided that it wasn’t a great idea financially, but mostly I just chickened out b/c I’m still petrified of flying so I cancelled the trip.
 
I started thinking about the fact that Chris really should’ve invited me to come with him & his friends even tho I couldn’t go to the wedding.  His friend Sal is going w/ them to FL despite the fact that he wasn’t invited to the wedding either.  I called Chris up crying, telling him how pissed I was that I have been talking for months now about wanting to go to FL & how he never asked me to come along w/ him & his friends.  We fought back & forth about it for a while & then we got on other subjects.  We have had many fights in the past about the amount of time he spends w/ his friends, & how I often feel 2nd best to them.  So we fought about that & I told him he needs to grow up, which really pissed him off (the truth hurts).
 
More than anything I am afraid that our relationship is going nowhere fast.  We have discussed marriage in the past & basically he said he wants to be 150% sure before he makes a comittment like that.  He wants to live w/ me 1st (which I have no problems w/) to make sure we can get along.  But the problem is that we’re not any closer to moving in together now than we were a year ago.  (I think I have mentioned before that his parents are divorced & he lives w/ his mom, so she depends on him for a lot & he feels guilty for leaving her alone.)  I’m gonna be 30 in a few months & I don’t wanna waste time on a guy who I’m gonna have to wait years for.  I’m impatient, I know it, but that’s just how I feel.
 
We made up of course, and we had a really nice valentine’s day.  We went to see the Matchbox 20 concert in the city which was awesome.  Alanis Morisette opened for them, I like her stuff but I’m not a HUGE fan.  She was really good tho.  M 20 was so wonderful, I was up singing & moving the whole time.  Also it was Rob Thomas’ b’day, so the audience sang happy birthday & there was tons of confetti shot out at the crowd.  The concert didn’t end ’till almost 11 & I didn’t get home ’till almost 1, but it was worth it.
 
Things w/ Chris & I have been pretty good since then, except he’s been sick the past few days & I’m hoping not to catch it lol.  My sister is very sick too, I’m worried I might catch something – I really hope not!!!  In other news, since I’m not going to FL next week, I decided to go to AC (atlantic city, NJ) for a night w/ my sis, her friend D, & Cam.  (Chris is not thrilled that Cam is going but that’s tough cuz he’ll be basking in the sun in FL for 5 days.)  I know I don’t have the money for a trip right now but I really need to get away, even if its only for 1 night.  Chris said that he wants to go away w/ me soon, but I’m not sure when or where.  It’ll prolly be a road trip tho b/c besides this trip to FL next week, he’s also got 2 short trips to CA (where his older brother lives) planned for April & May.
 
As for the job sitch, I didn’t end up quitting, despite how much I hate it.  B/c I realized how much I need every cent I can bring in, esp w/ cobra killing me w/ their $312/month charge for health insurance.  So I essentially did the opposite – I went full time.  The money that I was bringing in from working part time was nowhere near enough to cover all my bills. I have been looking for something full time since I started THIS job, but there is NOTHING out there.  I keep hearing talk about how we’re in a recession & that’s pretty scary.  Thank goodness I live rent-free at home even tho my family drives me nuts sometimes (a lot).  I am now almost $10,000 in debt thanks to not making any money the past month & 1/2 & not being able to pay more than the minimum on my (3) credit cards.  *sigh*
 
And that’s about all for now.  I still want to write an entry about the happenings of 2007 (esp the Cam summer fling, b/c I have a feeling it’s not completely over yet… since I kissed him a few days ago when I was really drunk & Chris wasn’t around) so I will try to work on that soon.  Hope everyone is well.  Till next time, xoxoxo!