looking forward

Wow my 2nd entry in 2 days!  Is it possible I am making an OD comeback?  Lets hope so! 

Today is day 2 of 2008 & day 2 of my diet (or shall I say "lifestyle change"? LOL).  It’s not easy, I’m not a fan of salad.  I’m a carb addict that’s for sure.  I did the south beach diet once & it def did work, but it was impossible for me to stick to.  So I’m back on the WW (weight watchers) train, we’ll see how it goes.

Since I’ve been seeing resolutions everywhere I look, I decided I should post some of mine.  So here they are, in no particular order…

• Get healthy (i.e. eat better, start exercising & quit smoking).  I know it can be done b/c I have done it before, but I also know it sure aint easy.
• Snap out of the depression that has haunted me for years.  Obviously MUCH easier said than done, but I feel like this is the time to do it.  I’m almost 30, which I consider to be serious adulthood status, & I don’t want to live my adult life as unhappily as I lived my teens & twenties.  It’s time to make a change.
• Be a better girlfriend.  I am a selfish person.  Which is not to say I don’t care about others, b/c I do.  I care a lot, sometimes TOO much.  But it always comes back to ME.  I get mad at Chris for things that aren’t *that* big of a deal (pornos which I hate, but he rarely watches anyway; shit that I read on his personal email that I shouldn’t have read anyway b/c I shouldn’t have been reading his email!) but I need to take a look at what I’ve done.  I cheated on him (no sex, just kissing etc. but that’s still bad enough) w/ Cam this summer.  I tried to make him feel like he had to be w/ me 24/7 instead of letting him have his own life, which isn’t fair.  I was insecure & untrusting when he gave me no reason to be.  I need to start improving on my g/f skills.
• Find a career path that I can be happy with.  Even if I go to school, take 1 class & hate it, at least I tried.  I have to keep trying until I find something I actually LIKE, b/c I can’t stand being an admin & I certainly can’t be one for the rest of my life.
• Learn to cook.  This is big, b/c for the few months I was on my own in my apartment I could’ve tried new things but I was too lazy.  I’m almost 30 & all I can cook is hot dogs, grilled cheese & quesadillas.
• Go easier on myself.  I am constantly beating myself up & it needs to stop.  I need to somehow start building my self-esteem, which I’m sure will make getting past the depression much easier.

There are probably more but that’s all I can think of for now.

Next time I write I’ll try to recap 2007, it was a crazy year.  Until then…!