a real update (part 1 of 2 (or maybe 3)?)

            My life has been absolute non-stop drama for the past few weeks. I’ve been trying to write an update in my free time, but more & more stuff keeps happening as I’m writing about stuff that happened 2 weeks ago. So I’m gonna put in what I’ve got so far, which covers from Aug 11th to the 20th, & then I’ll try to get up to date again in my next entry. So here goes…
 
Things w/ Brian & I started going downhill when we got in a fight the Friday (the 11th) night before he left to go to the Jersey shore w/ his friends (guys AND girls) for a week. The fight in itself wouldn’t have been that bad, if it hadn’t inspired me to drink WAY too much. So much that I passed out, puked all over myself & then had to be taken to the ER.
 
            We fought over stupid shit, he was mad b/c I wasn’t “socializing” w/ his friends, & I was mad b/c I felt like he was ignoring me the whole night in favor of them. I don’t remember drinking much more than usual tho, I think the PMS I had might’ve affected my tolerance. But apparently at the end of the night (luckily it was only Brian, Mike, Melissa & I left) I hit my head on the bar, puked all over the place & was completely unresponsive to them so they decided they should call an ambulance.
 
            I don’t remember much about the passing out/puking thing. I remember Melissa trying to get me to talk to her, but I wasn’t physically capable of answering her back. I remember the ambulance guys moving me & thinking “why are they jostling me around so much? I’m gonna throw up again!” Then I basically just slept at the ER for a few hours w/ an IV in my arm ‘till I sobered up enough to call my parents to pick me up around 5 am. (Thank god they didn’t pump my stomach cuz I heard that hurts like a bitch.)
 
            The next morning I called Brian to tell him I was OK & try to smooth things over before he left. He didn’t seem all that concerned about my trip to the ER, & when we got off the phone after a few minutes, he ended the convo w/ “I’m glad you’re feeling better, I’ll talk to you later”. LATER? It wasn’t the 1st time he’d said that, but I expected a little more. Even if he didn’t wanna call me while he was on vacation, he coulda said “I’ll try to call you while I’m away, but if not I’ll def call you when I get back.”
 
            The week went by w/out a phone call from him & each day I got more pissed off & upset about it. He came home the following Thursday night (I only know that b/c I checked his myspace), but he didn’t call me. Friday I waited for him to call but again he didn’t. I texted him around 8:15 & asked if he was back in NY, but I got no response. I was drinking at Jim’s, & around 9:30 I decided I was going to drive by the bar & see if he was there. Kalie & Doug tried to convince me not to go, partly b/c they didn’t want me to seem stalkerish & partly b/c they didn’t want me to drive after drinking. 
 
            I ended up telling them I was just gonna drive by & see if his car was there & then I’d come back to Jim’s. When I got to the parking lot, I saw Brian’s car. I got really pissed, but before I could think about what to do next, I saw him walking towards it. He looked right at me so there was no avoiding him, so I waved at him & he walked over to me. I said I was supposed to meet my sister there, which was of course total bullshit. We went inside & hung out, the usual crap. Then we left the bar a little after 1 & went back to my house to fool around & eventually fall asleep.
 
            When he left Saturday morning, he said he’d call me later. By 9:00 that night I still hadn’t heard from him so I got pissy. I called his cell & got his voicemail so I left a message. When I hadn’t heard from him by 9:30, I decided to head to the bar since nothing was going on w/ my friends anyway. I got there & he was outside smoking a cigarette w/ his friends. I was FUMING. I went inside the bar but I didn’t wanna flip out on him in front of his friends & look like a crazy stalker bitch, so I acted like everything was cool w/ us & made up a b.s. story that I had to get outta my house cuz my parents were fighting.
 
            We spent half the night ignoring each other, he was out smoking in the back w/ his friends & all that, & I stayed in the bar talking to some people. At the end of the night he had to take his friend Dan home, so we went outside to smoke a cig & he started bitching at me again b/c I don’t “socialize” w/ his friends. By this point I was drunk & very pissed so I started yelling at him about him leaving me alone half the night & ignoring me. Then I yelled about his not calling me that night & his answer was “you know where to find me, I’m always here”. 
 
            So then I yelled at him for being on vacation for a week & not calling me once, so he said “you could’ve called me too.” I was like “you were the 1 on vacation w/ your friends, I didn’t know what you were doing so I didn’t wanna bother you!” Finally he said “I dunno, if you can’t socialize w/ my friends I dunno if this can work” & I was like “whatever”. He said he had to go take his friend home & walked away so I went to my car & drove home.
 
            I cried the whole way home, & I spoke to Phil (yes, Phil my bi-sexual, crazy ex-boyfriend) who said he’d come by my house. I texted Brian a few min after I got home & said “I want to talk to you, can you come by here after you drop off your friend please?” 5 min later he called me & said he’d be by in a few. Phil got to my house before Brian called me, & he’d gotten me to stop crying. But I asked him if he could tell by looking at me that I’d been crying & he said yes, so I flipped out cuz I didn’t want Brian to know he’d upset me so much.
 
            Brian got there soon after, so Phil introduced himself to him & then got outta there quick which I thought was amusing. Once Phil left, I told Brian how I felt, that I’m not 1 of those girls who follows guys around like a puppy dog. I told him that when his friends ask him to smoke a cigarette or whatever, they’re asking HIM, not me. So he said “are you my friend?” & I said yeah & he said “then you’re their friend too.” He explained to me that he wants me to come w/ him when he goes out to smoke & stuff like that, so I said I would. But then I told him that I wanted him to understand how I felt too, that I didn’t want him to think I was 1 of those chicks who followed guys around b/c they have no life of their own. He said he did understand, so I said “I don’t wanna fight anymore” & he said “me either” so we went up to my room & had some make-up fooling around.  🙂
 
            The next night I called Brian & invited him to come by Jim’s b/c K & Bob were there & Jim’s parents were out of town. Brian decided he’d rather go to the bar tho, which pissed me off a bit. I left Jim’s an hour later cuz I was bored (he was way too drunk & was annoying the crap outta me) & I headed to the bar. When I got there, Brian was playing that damn MegaTouch machine (you know those dumb things that have card games & trivia games & photo games w/ naked chicks etc) that he & all his friends are obsessed w/. I sat next to him & had a drink, & then an old guy who was sitting on the other side of me started hitting on me.
 
            The guy was going on about did I have a boyfriend & how come I wasn’t married yet & all this bullshit. Meanwhile Brian continued to play his card game & not say or do a thing to help me, which got me really angry. Finally Brian walked by me & said he was going out back to smoke a cigarette w/ Melissa. I knew he meant for me to come w/ him, but I was pissed that he couldn’t have at least SAID “come w/ me” or whatever. A minute later the old guy walked away to go to the bathroom, so I went in the back where Melissa & Brian were. Brian started laughing & told me the whole thing was hysterical. 
 
I told him I didn’t think it was very funny & he said he’d seen me laughing. I told him it was amusing for the first minute, but then when the guy asked me “do you have Italian in you? Would you like to?”, it sorta lost its funniness. We went back inside a few min later & the old guy was talking to both of us & he pretty much left me alone after that. Brian & I chilled at the bar till around midnight, & then he said he had to go right home cuz he had work the next day. He said he’d call me the next day to let me know what he was doing & we said good-night.
 
OK that’s enough for this update, its super long. Next time I’ll tell you about the email I wrote him telling him how pissed I was, & how we pretty much made up, & maybe I’ll even get to the fact that things are turning sour w/ us again as of the past couple days. Hope everyone’s enjoying the last days of summer (damnit). ‘Till next time…