Benefit of doubt….

Not that I really owe anyone an explaination but here are a few things that SOMEONE needs to know.

First of all, do not assume that you are getting the whole story when you read someone’s diary. What one reads here in my diary is what I choose to write here. I am not so callus that I will air my dirty laundry with explicit details when things happen between myself and another person. I prefer to write about the good because I believe that is what we shold all strive to accomplish in life. A healthy relationship is free, un-bridled by outside influences and unassuming.This takes honestly though, somethign that seems to be rare these days.

Things happen, things change. My wife of 23 years looked at me one day and said, "I’ve killed your love for me haven’t I?"   She was right. We had changed. Her words implied to me that she knew just how deeply in love with her I once was and that for reasons we both probably know, that passion had been cooled beyond repair. 

I do not believe that life has one and only one person that was made especially as a partner for us and that we are predestined to be with that one. It is purely a pesonal choice. Time and circumstance come  to us all. I spent 23 years of my life loving a woman unconditionally before we finally divorced. She was much more than a pretty face and still is to some degree.

I typically give anyone I meet the benifit of doubt when i meet them. I take them at their word and assume that they are as honest with me as I am with them. Unfortunately this has lead to both parties being  hurt on more than one occasion. Rather it takes 23 years or 23 days, there comes a time when deception can not be forgiven.

Love is not blind. Love see’s that things are not right and tries to correct them. When that fails, love sets oneself and the object of ones affection free so that maybe both parties can find that somone with which they can be totally honest.

I think everyone should realize that it’s ok, in fact it is imperative that if  YOU   find yourself having strong feelings for someone you should let them know. Especially if they have suggested that they have strong feelings for you. It is ok to say, ‘I do not know how this will work out but I want to see where it leads.’ Just remember that either one of you may see it’s not leading in the right directions or that the feelings are feeings other than those required for a lasting relationship.

and last but not least…

I wish to apologize to anyone who I have offended by not being online to chat with lately. There are a couple of folks whom i have met here in OD that I have chatted with quite frequently. I’ve enjoyed every second of it. I have honestly missed you when either of us was unavailable to keep each other company. I have always tried to be honest, even when it hurt. Were it not for you folks CIndy would not have a Keith to love. I won’t be on Yahoo Messenger as much but I may check in occasionally just to say hello.

PS.To the person leaving the unsigned notes:

• thanks for your advice
• the words "I love you", are just words, the meaning to the words has to be expressed.
• Please don’t give up, to love and be loved are the most wonderful things in the world. and yes they are two distinct things. Therefore, if you have feelings for someone let him know, don’t wait on him.
• Be yourself.
• Yes she is all that! She’s not perfect which is convenient since i’m not looking for perfect. Nor do I expect her to think or wish I was perfect.