what does that say about me?
Dear Diary:
I am Marta; I am the Spider Woman.
[first lines]
Luis Molina: She’s… well, she’s something a little strange. That’s what she noticed, that she’s not a woman like all the others. She seems all wrapped up in herself. Lost in a world she carries deep inside her.
Big Bad has had 2 sex partners both of them proved themselves to be rabbit boilers. I wonder what that says about me, but I digress.
So one of the crazies show up at his work unannounced on Friday. Shall we stroll down memory lane for a better look?
look rob, no music – 5/21/2005
Dear Diary:
I am Nosey Parker.
Lemme see if I can put this all together. After a wee bit of sleuthing, though I’m ashamed to admit it, I found out who was up to what. At least I thought I had.
I cornered Clark in the Wellness centered and drilled him like a sergeant. According to Clark, Big Bad has two twinks on the go…Little Mellie Twink and Krazy Kerry. Fun, fun, fun. Both Twinks involved are interested in a from-dating-to-a-ring kind of a relationship. Big Bad wants his dick wet. That’s my guess.
Big Bad takes his dilemma to Seaver who has absolutely no social skills what so ever nor is he female savvy. I have no idea why Big Bad thought Seaver could pull off a caper of this caliber. So the two angry young misogynists hatch a plot for Big Bad to string the two of the twinks as far along as possible.
The Plot: BRUSH OFF
The premise…. Girls want the guy that doesn’t want them. If Big Bad brushes them both off they’ll attach themselves like pilot fish. Big Bad can have 2 girls for the price of one and not actually have to date or spend time and money on either of them.
Big Bad takes The Plot to Clark to see what he thinks which is how Clark got hold of all the juice. Clark claims he cautioned Big Bad. He claims he reminded Big Bad that he’s got no game and neither does Seaver. Clark even claims he told Big Bad to take it to me because I’m the only one who actually has any game (it’s only ‘cuz I’m honest that I am even remotely considered a Playa)
Now Mellie, it seems had already been semi-brushed off . Big Bad used this heaping pile of concocted absurdity that goes something like…
”I’m a real mess right now and I’d hurt me and you
if I did any kind of relationship thing with you right now”
(how all those Twinks buy his shit I’ll never know)
To brush her off by the time he actually asked Clark his opinion. Says Clark.
As of two nights ago…Big Bad gave Kerry the same lame ass excuse but only because “it worked so well on Mellie.”
Let’s not forget though that Kerry is Krazy Kerry for a fuckin’ reason. Kerry phoned Clark. Kerry phoned Seaver. Kerry phoned even Jay (like he’d ever know what was going on). Kerry phoned everyone she could to find out what the lame ass excuse was all about. All to no avail.
So yesterday while Big Bad’s at his day job Allen calls me from his cell. He’s laughing so hard I can’t make out what he’s saying. When the giggles finally stop and he catches his breath it turns out he’s phoning from Big Bad’s job, a record store called The Beat Goes On. Apparently while Allen was in having his weekly retail therapy session, Kerry showed up at his work. She caused such a commotion the manager had to ask her to leave. If Allen hadn’t laughed so hard I would have been able to hear her bitching as she was leaving and Big Bad giving her the “oh but Baby” in the background.
Damn all his laughter to hell. I would have liked to hear it. Fuck the blow by blow account after the fight is over.
I couldn’t keep it in and I phoned Alex at work. I explained The Plot and how Seaver’s hand, of course, is all over it. I gave Alex the blow by blow and while he too laughed his ass off he had an even more intriguing, juicy fruit theory about The Plot.
Alex says that Seaver is a red herring. Alex says Clark set it up to look like Seaver did this but, in fact, Clark and Big Bad have an evil Plot, an evil experiment, if you will. Alex says there is a third party stimuli that’s part of this experiment. Alex says that Mellie and Kerry are smoke and mirrors respectively. Alex says that Big Bad is, in Alex’s own words, “sweet on a secret Someone”, and that he has asked Clark to run cover for him. Alex doesn’t seem to think even Clark knows who she is only that she exists.
Now, if Allen or Seaver or Jay or McLean or any of them, for that matter, thought Big Bad was hiding a girl from them….they would go crazy. They’re all such fucking girls that they would have to know who it was and why she’s being stashed away like a dirty little secret. But really…Big Bad’s never hid a relationship of any kind from us. He’s open and matter of fact , with us anyway, about who and what and where and why he’s playin’….but the playa ain’t got no game. No game, I tell ya.
My ears are totally pricked at this point. As I said to Alex…. If you put all the young misogynists aside… it would be odd, this behaviour of Big Bad’s. Clark’s as well. If indeed there is a third Stimuli, I am really very curious as to why Clark’s keeping mum as the word.
Last night Big Bad’s band played at a club called Dissent. It’s a bit of a drive but we all knew it would be worth the show, and I don’t mean the music. Allen was just humming he was so excited.
<font face="Courier New" si
ze=”2″>“Kerry’s called Krazy Kerry for a reason.”
“Allen really, let I go. We should all be hoping the gig goes well for him not hoping that Kerry shows not only at work today but at the gig tonight as well. You know Big Bad , he can’t handle that kind of drama.”, says I.
“You’re full of shit and you know it.” Allen knows me so well, doesn’t he?
‘Fine, it’s true. I’m wishing Kerry will show up and start something , but I know fuckin’ well I shouldn’t be.”
Alex tsk tsked me and off we went.
At first it looked as though we were in for sunny weather. The bar was cool. A bouncer asked me out. The Band played well and Big Bad was in the zone. His timing was right on, for a change. I was sitting at the table and Allen and Alex were schmoosing when from the corner of my eye I catch Alex flailing an index finger ever so not discretely at me.
Mellie’s hiding in the corner. A second look tells me she’s been welling up. Her nose is a wee bit red and her eyes are kinda puffy. In her tiny little hand is a small bunch of Gerber daisies. Oh God. My heart sinks. This isn’t funny and it isn’t fair. Her face is transfixed on the stage. She trying to stare the Eye Fuck King down while he’s in the middle of the zone, in the middle of a set. Poor thing. Such an amateur.
I take another rather large sip of my Tequila and Seven and give my attention back to the band. I’m trying to dismiss little Miss Mellie’s broken little heart when I see Seaver take a double take and gak into the mic.
Sure as shit don’t I look behind me and isn’t it Kerry coming in the door. Same small bunch of Gerber daisies in her cold, dead hand.
Can I just mention, at this point, how much I do NOT love Gerber daisies?. Can I mention how they always make me feel like I’m trapped in a “70’s Design Hell? I hate how chic they got for a bit and I hate that these freakin’ twinks don’t get how passé they are. As I stare out over the floor across the heads and shiny lights and above the din and the noise I found myself really hoping that a Jerry Springer Conflict would break out and the stupid daisies would be the first casualty.
At this point we are three songs into the third set…that’s at least 12 more tunes to play before last call. Now it’s Allen’s index finger frantically motioning me closer and closer to the girls.
At this point each of them was poised at other side of the stage. Mellie transfixed and Kerry all crazy and casing the stage. Seaver’s trying not to laugh while he’s singing but has the best view of all from center stage. The fourth song ends and Seaver says,
“thank you, thank you much and Savage, we can’t touch her, she’s female”
It took me a second. What the hell? Oh shit.<span s
tyle=”mso-spacerun: yes”> Allen and Seaver want me to grab Kerry before she hits the stage. Kerry moves forward and I get right into the thick of the crowd thinking I’d head her off.
Screeching….I mean like loud, like louder than the cock rock guitar solo the Band was in the middle of at the time loud. Screeching. It was awesome.
Seems Little Miss Mellie’s kind of quick on her feet. When she saw me moving and she saw those stupid daisies In Dead Hand she spazzed entirely right off. Like little Mary Sunshine being possessed by the demon Ezriel. Kerry looked right past me at Mellie’s small bunch of flowers and it was all on.
They pace towards each others like duelists in a gunfight at dawn. They draw their flowers. They raise their hands and I get the fuck out of the way before the shit hits the fan.
Seaver couldn’t help himself. When the multi-coloured petals started flying in the air like fur at a cat fight he lost it. He laughed so hard they had to stop playing. Just as predicted….. Big Bad exploded. He threw his sticks at his snare bouncing and setting of the cymbals. He kicked a mic stand over and stormed off the stage.
That’s when Alex grabbed me and quickly pulled me outside. Like thieves in the night we raced around the building and down the back alley, the whole way Alex exclaiming….”I’ll prove it, I’ll prove it.”
Didn’t Big Bad storm right through the kitchen and right out the back door? Didn’t Alex and I just miss him? All either of us caught a glimpse of, as Big Bad slammed his car into gear and took off, was the shadowy figure sitting in the passenger seat.
Needless to say Big Bad didn’t come home last night. He arrived around lunch looking grumpy and disheveled and disappeared into his room. Clark didn’t come home either and lucky for him.
I REALLY wanna have a chat with Clark.
So you see, I must confess, I am a very nosey parker.
Signed,
A Girl Called Kill
continued