I’m my own light

I thought long before i knew about me,
that you were the piece my heart needed,
i held you in so much regard above this,
that even God himself couldn’t equal your greatness.
Then the pain began to consume this,
my fear covered any piece of mind left untouched by it,
that thought that somehow this dream would come crashing down,
and i would end up living on a nightmare.

I spotted my own mistake,
as i began to let myself intake,
those dirty toxins of jealousy and hate,
until they became a part of me just as much as your love did,
questioning my love yous for whys and hugs switched with crossed hands,
there was no trying to explain, i knew i would end up locking it again,
the door to my heart cause i was afraid,
but you blew it open begging me to beg you to stay,
but i couldnt i didnt want to end up being hurt more than i already was,
you cared not and left the door open so anything could just walk in at take what they wanted…..BUT WAIT FUCK IT…

This isnt about sadness or hate,
fuck that shit its out of date,
im here for the now, the future and such,
the way i can see up and notice my good luck,
how these birds seem to sing as i walk through these streets,
the same ones i did when i was a kid,
when no problem could ever hold me down,
when i felt i was the one with the biggest smile in the town,
when girls’ smiles where all i needed to keep on,
not some relationship we hope could last long,
i had my friends that shared their own laughs with me,
instead of myself crying on my knees,
so this is and ode to the way things seem to be coming,
to the bros. and the new girls who are applauding,
my new found love for the way this life seems to be,
and not some sad story that stays on re-peat…

I am my own light and i walk to my beat,
regardless of anyone denying that feat,
i am me my own myself within this,
these words sentences paragraphs are bliss,
sealing it all with a long awaited kiss,
from the muse that had shown me the way to the skies,
but forgot to tell me how it is to come back down (just glide…),
as i free fall unto this great unknown that’s my life,
im glad with English and Skully, Prozac and JD i find the right,
way to maneuver myself through the clouds,
and paint my own picture that isnt so crowd- filled
and littered with trash instead its the right size,
for me myself and…