Journey to my hell and back (09-23-05)

Who knows how I ended up here,
this place seems even more cold than I can remember,
I meet up with old friends again,
as always my darling Solitude seems to have been waiting for me.
She receives me with a kiss and a good given hug;
"Welcome home" she utters in my ear,
while slowly taking from me Hope,
and replacing it with that never ending Pain,
that I was for so long accustomed to.

It feels weird this time around though,
the pain no longer seems to belong inside me.
I find myself struggling with this insisting feeling to let it consume me,
but I can’t, not again not once more.
Yet inside me lies the one that allows it,
inside me lies what lets Pain play with me again.

"Stop it, STOP IT, I CAN’T BE TORMENTED LIKE THIS AGAIN"
I heard myself scream this over and over again,
I screamed till I felt no more air come through my lungs,
and then I screamed some more.
I did it so incessantly I felt almost faint at the end of it all.
Silly me though, all this time I was screaming at myself,
all this time it was me that put the hurt there,
all this time it was me to brought me here,
I met Loneliness,
I met Pain,
I wasn’t introduced.
So here will lie my journey…
From hell and back…

Prophet-
S. Ruben Tovar