Self Diagnose (in white Lyrics from Brand New)

I am heaven sent.
With hellish intentions
Don’t you dare forget.
I have become the demon I feared the most
I am all you’ve ever wanted,
And everything you’ve ever feared.
What all the other boys all promised.
But never had the luck to give you
Sorry I told, I just needed you to know.
Because this silence is just too much for me to cope.
I think in decimals and dollars,
And all I know is that I am to be alone.
I am the cause to all your problems.
And I still dare to tell myself I’m the best of you.
Shelter from cold.
Yet I engulf you in flames of sadness.
We are never alone.
Nor we will ever be now that I have truly awaken.
Coordinate brain and mouth,
Yet my heart seems to dictate what comes out.
Then ask me what its like to have my self so figured out.
Because for this world cannot know of my weakness.
Wish I knew.

I hope this song starts a craze.
Because it has made me realize what I’ve made,
The kind of song that ignites the airwaves.
And ignites within me the resignation to so many things.
The kind of song that makes people glad to be where they are,
As long as they are no where near me.
With whoever they’re there with.
Because loneliness has become my best friend.
This is war.
And it seems the outcome has already come out.
Every line is about who I don’t want to write about anymore.
But I still write, for I am too weak to tell myself to stop.

Here I go again,
Complaining to the world of the problems I have,
Problems that people really shouldn’t care about.
Here I go again,
With that same weak state of mind that best describes me.
That fearful child that is me,
Those stupid words that seem to ricochet from my very mouth,
Those simplistic lines I write,
That same old song I play when my world seems fine,
Maybe I was to afraid to believe?
Maybe I am to afraid to realize my being,
Too afraid to see the real me,
That horrible beast that I have made myself.
I have shielded my losses with stupid ideas,
I have chased shadows thinking they were real,
And I have brought myself to that same hole I tried so hard to get out of.