blame it on the rain

its been a good couple of days for the most part. i was mad and am sitll kinda confused since my last entry but whatever, just know what to expect from certain people in my life. Spent yesterday with P. it was the perfect night. I got there he ordered us chinese delivery. i was starved and it was wonderful. then we watched lost in translation. good movie.  after that we relaxed took showers and lied down and talked in bed for a bit. he knew i was mad when i first got there but i just let it go and wanted to relax. we talked a little. i told him about this friend Chris i have bene hanging out with. no biggie. i also told him a lot of other things that is kinda wanna keep private for now. I also told him i wanted to jump his bones. lol. As i laid there i wanted to just “be” with him so bad. i explained to him that i was in dire need of jumping his bones. told him how he makes me feel and he said something that made me feel a litlte reassured. I told him  i hate lying there and wanting to do stuff and having him push me away. he told me he just has better will power then me. and it made me feel good to know that he has those urges too. he said he wants to as well jsut that we shouldnt. at least i know its not just me, he does want to do it like i do. i blame it on the cold night. lol i was cold the rain was beating down so hard and i just wanted to feel close to him. So i took the initiative and started the fooling around. it was good, it was short ( i guess i am jsut good lol)  and well it was nice. i laied there with his arms around my chest and my head pressed firmly against his head and i loved it. he fell asleep like this and i just laid there breathing it all in. i love how i feel with him. why cant i just not feel that way? ugh. but its not like c and i are exclusive, i am not sleeping with him so its fine. if i was i wouldnt have done that with p. i just know it felt good and it cant hurt to feel good sometimes. 🙂 we talked about having people sleep there. like besdies me. he made me feel better about it. told me how longs its been and it was refreshing mostly. we talked about sex and how long thats been and well only thing i wanna say bout that is i wish i could end his dry spell lol. today was relaxing and tomororw more plans with P. hung out with c i think on monday. it was nice just dinner. he bought me a bracelet. i dunno what i think there. starting to fele like he buys me dinner and gifts to get in my pants. dont know if thats smart for me to get involved in. anywho thats it goodnight byebye