confused

Well its been a long week i am so ready for the weekend. I went out with C yesterday. it was last minute but nice. we were gonna go see a movie but he was starved so i said dinner would be fine since neither of us had ate. we went to tgi fridays. it was good. and he bought me a gift. i mentioned last time i saw him that one of my favorite disney cartoons was alice in wonderland and he ended up buying it for me on dvd and giving it to me last night. i didnt have the heart to tell him i had just gotten it but i sold a copy to a friend of mine 🙂 he is really sweet. maybe too sweet, but that cant be bad right? At the end of the night he tried to kiss me instead of the usual hug and i turned my head and he got the cheek. afterwards i felt bad. it wasnt like i wanted to be rude it just happened so fast. i dunno maybe i did wanna kiss a little but my instinct was to turn. he didnt say anything so that was ok. i dunno whats up with us. he likes me. alot. and i dunno what i feel yet. hes so much older then me but totally cool. and well just confused still. i guess a part of me doesnt wanna kiss him because its like i will be cheating. i feel like i owe p the respect and i know damn well i dont. i cant help but still want that guy kissing me to be p. i think i just need to talk to p about this maybe. we will see. he wanted to go out this weekend but on friday p and i have plans, and well they were already made so not fair to change them and sat. its valentines day and i work till 10. then sunday i am going to the zoo with p and his sisters. should be fun i havent been there in years. i think the last time i was in high school on this school trip and some special ed. kid from this group near us kept following me around. it was so embarrassing. lol.

    ive known p for 4 valentines days and each one i have bought him a gift. i was unsure what to do this year becuase well its not a good thing to do. so this year i bought him a card and made some cookies. thats it. nothing expensive just whatever. the card is actually just friendly and kinda funny in this mean kinda way. lol i think its a better choice then pouring my heart out from hallmark. 🙂 i hate v-day. especially when i work because i have to see all the people getting flowers sent to work. i hate it. i know i wouldnt hate it if someone would send me flowers to work im just jealous i guess. ugh. tomorrow should be so relaxing. no work, then going to p’s and we aremaking bacon cheesburgers and tater tots and relaxing all ngiht. sounds just like what i need! Well guess thats it from me. goodnight and thanks for the comments.