Chinese Democracy

Temperatures here were near freezing last night, as I was painfully aware while standing outside with my friends who smoke at midnight and later.  I don’t honestly know why I think continuing a conversation with my friends is worth freezing my nads off, but point is, it was cold.  Bitter cold.  The sick part is, no more than two days ago it was 80 degrees and sunny, making me long for a bench in the park and a good book. 

There’s something wrong with my backspace key.  Granted, it probably gets more abuse than any other key on my keyboard, save maybe the spacebar, but it still sucks.  It works fine, but it makes a louder sound than it used to, and it’s unlevel.  I’ll be screwed if that thing stops working.  Screwed.  I refuse to have typos, but I don’t type all that well.  Rapidly, yes, at least by my standards, but not accurately.  I need that backspace key.  I couldn’t begin to calculate how many times I used it in this paragraph alone.  Wanna see what happens to the same paragraph if I don’t use it?  Too bad, because I’m doing it anyway.

There’s something wrong with my backspace key.  Granted, it probably gets more abuse than any other key on my keypbord, samve maybe the sapcebar, but it still sucks.  It works fine, gut it makes a loutder sound than it usedj it, and i’s onlevel.  I’l be scuered if that thing stops working.  Screwwd.  I efusesd to have typeos, but I dont type all that well.  Rapidly, yes, at least by my standers, but not accurately.  I need that backspaes key.  I couldn’t be gin to calculate how many times I used it in thes paragraph alone.  Wanna see what happsn to the samw paragraash if I don’t use it?  Too bad, becasue I’ m doing it anyway. 

See that?  Horrendous.  Plus, after all these years, do you have any clue how hard it was NOT to flick that finger up there and correct all those mistakes? 

I guess I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but today is my birthday.  I’m 26 now, and the worst year of my life to date is behind me for good.  I just hope that "to date" thing holds out.  I’m officially "pushing thirty."  But then again, my only brother will be 40 this November.  I gotta admit though, I hope I still look that good at 40.  Save the grey in his beard, I’d never guess it.  Now that I think of it, I can’t think of my brother as 40…  It’s weird.  It’s weird enough having a brother that much older than me; I was an accident.  Drives you nuts when you think about it.  If not for the moment of (shudder) that spawned me, this fine mind of mine could have been granted to somebody who’d do something with it.  A great leader of men or somesuch nonsense.  There’s an interesting concept:  Would any of us trade our existence for the slim hope that our minds would instead have been given to somebody with the will to use it better than we did?  Or maybe not our minds, since if the other person had the same mind they’d be just as unmotivated as us, but maybe our intelligence.  I dunno, you figure it out.  Hell, I don’t even exist.  Some other guy is sitting around with my damn brain, making important decisions and being worshipped by many all because he had te gumption to stand up and say, "Fuck this, it isn’t right, and I’m gonna do something about it because I’ve got the finest set of brains this side of the Mississippi! 

Nah, I’m not that conceited.  Plus, I’m content to be worshipped by Minnie rather than many.  I’m not sure a mind as fine as I was pretending to have would have come up with the above bullshit. 

Whoa, here’s a mindfuck that I just thought of.  What if I am the one who retroactively received this thinker because some bigger loser than me decided to trade his existence for the betterment of his mind?  What if time actually works that way??  If somebody in modern times is found to have identical thought processes and brain patterns as, say, Archimedes (he was real right?), everybody would think, "That dude is a reincarnation of Archimedes!" right?  But what if, instead of that guy from now being Archie reborn, he just got tired of accomplishing so little and gave up his life to go back in time and allow his mind to blossom instead in ancient Greece? 

Ah, fuck, that’s lamer than TimeCop.  "You can only go to the past because the future hasn’t happened yet, but guess what, we totally have NO TROUBLE WHATSOEVER getting BACK to the future from the past, even though it totally hasn’t happened yet in the time in which we currently meddle.  Plus, same matter can’t occupy same space, so if you see your former self and that act in and of itself doesn’t like make the universe explode in paradox, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t fucking touch yourself because you’ll MELT!"