what i should be doing vs what i am doing.

so i just got home from work, the night shift. and i have to be at the mall in an hour to work another two shifts at two jobs totaling 12 hours – which means two different sets of clothing and things i’ll need for my day and continuation into the evening, when i will be going out with a few friends. fully aware that i was gonna be exhausted and worn out from work i agreed to go bowling with buds tonight after work. wtf was i thinking? so i have this one precious hour right now to pack my bag and eat and what am i doing? mindlessly clicking around on the internet. you do not know how hard it is not to lay my head down and "rest my eyes", just for a few minutes. but i can’t.

lately i haven’t been working as much and i know my next payday is going to be disappointing bc i’m used to 2 hefty checks and 1 mediocre one but now it’ll be 2 mediocre ones and unfortunately that’s just not good enough. the reason being that i recently went to the dentist, and as well as paying dearly for x-rays and a cleaning, i found out that i have 5 or 6 cavities which will require multiple follow-up visits. i fucking hate going to the dentist as it is, but this is extra hard to swallow because this is the first time i’ve gone since i was covered under my dad’s benefits. so now i’m independent and have no benefits of my own, which means the dentist not only equals pain, but major expense, too. this really is my own fault because i put off going to the dentist for over 5 years, just because i was a huge baby.

anywho. i should probably make an effort to get ready before i miss my bus and have to take a cab to work. peeeaaacce.