boy rant #2

so as i had previously mentioned, i am on a free online dating site. but i don’t really take it seriously like i once did and usually just use it to waste some time (as if i have time to waste!!) i rarely write back to men who contact me and i’ve never sent a message to anyone first. there was one guy on there who sent me a msg and soon our back and forth messaging moved to msn messenger. we have chatted for hours at a time and i find him extremely easy to talk to, witty and sarcastic, honest and intelligent. he was very open about what he was looking for on the dating website – nothing serious, not looking for a relationship at all. and i know he’s constantly on the site, talking to and meeting new ppl. so eventually we meet up one afternoon before i have to work and we go out for coffee and then go mini-golfing (cliche but it was fun!). we totally lost track of time and i ended up having to take a cab straight to work because i was cutting it pretty close to when i was supposed to start. he took the cab with me because i work close to where he lives and it just made sense. and in the cab he kissed me! that’s ok, and by no means am i a prude or whatever, but then he started to feel me up and i promptly moved his hand away. like seriously? i guess i was just disappointed because that’s what EVERY GUY DOES. and i had somehow convinced myself that he might be different. a kiss on the first date? fine! but anything more is just giving me the idea that your intentions are less than honorable and i even gave you a heads up — the way to win me over is to not be a horny bastard like the countless others i’ve met in the past little while. so anyways, despite this i have to admit we got along swimmingly and we continued to talk on msn and occasionally i’d run into him at the mall. a couple weeks later he came over one night to hang out. we just watched tv and talked but eventually we started making out and i will openly admit that i was into that, although i gave him no signals to suggest that i wanted to sleep with him. in between kissing and fooling around we would talk and at one point he was straddling me and i was just like "let’s just be honest here – you’re not looking for a relationship and i’m not looking for a casual fling, so what are we doing?" he was like "i guess we should just be friends" but then he started kissing me and i was cool with that. so i guess we’re friends, though i know he’s attracted to me and would love to take it further (based on how he acts around me and things he’s said). what really pisses me off is something i’ve known all along but just cannot seem to wrap my head around: he says he’s been seeing someone else since the summer. and initially i got the impression that the other chick was cool with their casual status, but then yesterday he tells me that tomorrow he’s taking her to meet his mother. and that he’s already met her family. so what i want to know is does this girl know that 1> he’s still on the dating website every day meeting new ppl and 2> he’s taking it a step further and meeting some of them in person and 3> he’s making advances on them~! clearly i’m conservative in comparison to this girl but i really don’t know any chicks who would be ok with dating someone for over half a year who is also dating around and seducing other women. or maybe she’s cool with is and she’s dating on the side, too? i don’t know. basically what hurts me the most is that he’s not interested in starting a relationship, as though i’m not worth it. i’m worth talking to and hanging out with for the purpose of casual sex, but not good enough for a relationship. but there is someone who is! and even she’s not worth being monogamous for. i know monogamy is a personal choice and not a requirement, but still…  so as his friend, i don’t really care to hear these details. would you? it’s like he’s rubbing it in my face….  i’m no longer attracted to him, but the best thing to do would be to cut ties with him, because i don’t need friends like that, and he’s definitely wanting to blur the lines between friendship and hooking up. that’s not fair to me and also not fair for the chick that he’s seeing.  ugh i have to go to work.

peace!