unsent letter #2 – the crush

since i don’t have anyone that i’m crushing on at the moment, i think i’ll lookk at this from a different perspective and write to the man who i KNOW is crushing on me ..

dear brian,

i’m so sorry that it’s come down to this, but since you don’t seem to get the hint when i dodge your blatant come-ons and awkward innuendos in person, i’m resorting to a letter so that i can say everything in a well thought out manner. I DON’T LIKE YOU. i can’t stand how you manipulate situations to dodge the bullet when it’s so obvious to everyone that you have a thing for me, and that i’m not reciprocating. when we all used to hang out, i enjoyed your company. it’s nice to have a friend who’s interested in art, and you bring an interesting dynamic to the group as a whole. but it’s becoming too much for me to bear to be around you. it seems that you have no filter and say the most innapropriate things, not even holding back when we’re in the company of others. you tell one person you’re dating someone and have no interest in me, you tell someone else you are flirting with me, you tell me the things that ppl (supposedly) say to you "heather keeps asking me if we’re going to make out tonight" "a lot of ppl have been asking me if we’re together" etc etc. what do you want me to say? i know that you’re trying to gauge my reaction but i’m uncomfortable enough as it is, and when you say it in front of other ppl i totally freeze. i either laugh it off or try to escape, or both. usually both. it’s turning my feelings towards you  to sour.. soon i won’t come out as much or participate in group outings because it’s too much. you are nearly 40. you should have this whole social interaction thing down already. that being said, your age also makes you closer to my dad’s age than mine. for that and many many many many other reasons:  i. don’t. like. you.

your friend (hahaha!!), kirsten

if i had any guts what-so-ever i might have vocalized a few of those sentiments to him, but i don’t – so i won’t!