06/09/2010
June 9th 2010
Ugh so because I’m a frikkin idiot I am sitting on this greyhound at nearly midnight in stop and go traffic and I’m pretty sure that I won’t be home til about 1:30am. It’s pouring rain and I guess I’ll be walking home… waaa! I took the 7:30 bus from the patch and got into TO at about 9, and I saw that the next bus for guelph was at 21:30, but since the time online indicated that the next bus would be at 11:30, I paid no attention and assumed I’d just have to wait. I could have been in bed by now but oh well. I ended up going to starbucks and just fooling around on the internet, looking for jobs and researching teaching abroad. Not a total waste of time…. But still. Anyways it was a successful, if not hurried, trip home. Zac’s grad was nice, not too long. It was good to see grandma and alicia… and I guess I’ll just have to plan better next time because I didn’t even have time for hill and rach was out of the country. Oh well. So even though I really need the money, it’s be so relaxing not having to go to work for the past day. I don’t know why, but I just can’t get past this whole sue thing. I fucking hate the bitch and I can’t seem to understand why it’s weighing me down, I’ve talked it out with lauren, cor and zac and they’re great ears, but I still haven’t been able to answer my own question. Afterall, this isn’t the first bitchy chick I’ve dealt with, it probs won’t be the last either, but something about her conniving and manipulative ways is digging away at me. I honestly haven’t felt this sort of “hatred” in who knows how long… I feel I’ve really moved past my negative ways and I’d like to think I’m fairly easygoing. Usually this kind of bull doesn’t get to me, but with her it’s always on my mind. One of the reasons is that I know she’s a fairly powerful influence on my boss and even though she knows that I am honest and trustworthy, she’s still flighty enough to be conned into believing the lies that sue tells. Uuuuughh she’s just so immature. I could write pages and pages detailing all of the stuff she’s said/done to me/ behind my back. But there’s no point, rehashing would just get me riled up. I’m really grateful to have lauren to talk with because she finds sue just a ridiculous as I do, but unlike cor, needs to vent. Cor’s great that way in that she just lets sues ways roll off her back like water… she thinks she’s absolutely pathetic and doesn’t even waste her breath. But then again, she has less to lose at work since she doesn’t really care about the job anymore. I, on the other hand, still need and want the job and would like to stay on my boss’ good side for as long as I can. I have come to learn with her that her opinions change as often as the wind, so I know that I should just be grateful for the times when it seems she’s really happy with me. Still… if I lose hours or respect bc of sue I’m just gonna fucking lose it. I believe in karma… firm believer. And I truly do think that I treat ppl the way I’d like to be treated. But just once it would be really nice to see an indication that the karma payment plan is at work. Not that I’m wishing evil upon her, but why is it that I seem to be the one struggling through life and she’s fucking living it up and getting more hours than me? One thing about her seemingly drastic lifestyle change is that she’s started smoking — a lot!! And apparently she smokes weed?? Not that I’m firmly against that, but I know she’s never had and interest in drugs before, I think this is just miss bad influence rubbing off on her. But the fact that ppl think that she’s cooler for smoking just makes me sick. I hope her teeth turn black. God I’m mean, I take it back. I hope she gets exactly what she deserves. I think that’s fair.