A New Day?

 Today is a new day and also the beginning to a new year. However, I thought a night of sleep would maybe change the way I feel. When I ended my entry last night, Johnny and I went downtown to look at the ice sculptures with his dad and his dad’s girlfriend. The entire time I just felt as though I didn’t have a place, like I just didn’t belong, and it stung. A big part of why I feel this way is probably due to the fact that I’ve been back in Pennsylvania for only two days.

I’m not sure, and I could be overreacting, but I feel like my heart is changing. Maybe, somewhere deep inside, I’m not really sure of what I want. Maybe I just realized what exactly I’m missing out on, being so far away from my family.

I’m not depressed, though, and most certainly in no way am I making any quick decisions. I really do think that a major part if me is being slightly irrational, then add that to the fact that I just left my family behind – it would almost be crazy for me to not feel this way, right?

Who knows when I’ll see my family again. The whole trip left me $200 short on rent, but I just don’t care. Life only happens once, and there’s no reason to live in stress and worry all the time about money and God knows what else.

Okay, brain… Time to get yourself in order.