Ugh… Remember, Focus on the Good.

The night of my Christmas Eve has been spent alone, mostly in silence, but after what happened today – I mostly don’t mind.
Currently, I’m curled up on the couch. I just brewed myself a cup of coffee in the Keurig machine, munching on homemade biscotti, and washing it down with sips of my rich, hot coffee. It’s a bitterly cold night out there tonight; just sitting in my living room, I’ve developed goose bumps and shiver here and there, my coffee is definitely doing its job warming me up, however. All I wish for is a fireplace, a large plush blanket, snow on the ground and falling from the sky outside, and Johnny. Of course, Johnny.

I find myself having intimate moments like these, and it always leaves me missing him more and more. It’s Christmas, and the only thing I wanted, I did not get and will not get, is him.

This morning I rolled out of bed, absolutely lacking in motivation; there wasn’t a single ounce of motivation in my bones. I woke up at 8am, but I ended up sitting on the couch until almost 10, when I had told my sister that I was going to pick her up from her "new family’s" house by 10:30. I scrambled to get myself together, and left the house within 20 minutes, after staring blankly in the bedroom while attempting to get dressed. At 10:20, I called her, already on my way to pick her up. No answer. Figures. Instead of getting frustrated that my sister didn’t answer, I kept driving to her friend’s house and knocked on the door.

See, she hasn’t slept in her own bed for nearly 2 weeks. Why? Oh, because she wants to move over there. That girl is seriously something else. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with her, or if she’s really stupid to be throwing everything away, like she is. My dad works his ass off to provide for her needs, to give her what she wants, he pays off her tickets, and puts up with her shit… And what for? The child is thankful for nothing. Just today, after my dad said, "See what I do for you…" She said, "Like what? What do you do for me?" I swear, sometimes I could smack her straight across the face. One day she’s going to wake up to find how incredibly selfish, ungrateful, and bratty she has been. It breaks my heart to say this, and to witness it, and it makes me frustrated to no end because I’m at a loss on what to do.

When I went to the door and knocked, I hoped the "mom" (who took my sister’s friend in because apparently her "mom always stole money from her.") would answer the door. Just my luck, she wasn’t home. Some guy answered the door (come to find out he’s the dad of all the mangy, dirty faced children running around the house. There’s, what, five?) and offered me to come inside.
When I went inside, I was appalled at what I saw. The house wasn’t bare, but it was lacking charm… it looked more like a garage or a storage shed that a house. Then, on top of that, the house absolutely reeked of dog pee or cat pee. I couldn’t tell. In the short time I was in there, I saw 3 dogs, 2 cats, a little girl with a dirty face and rosy cheeks sitting on the couch, and a woman I have never seen before sleeping on another couch. The guy went to the door and called to my sister and told her she had to wake up because I was there to get her.
He had no idea Cassie had a sister, he didn’t even know that Cassie was even there. When I had said at the door, that I was there to get my sister… he said, "And she would be…" Or maybe it was along the lines of "And which one is that?" It makes me think that there are several people that often stay in that house from time to time. It eerily reminded me of a homeless shelter.
Why my sister would prefer to stay there, in a flea-infested home, than in her own bed with her OWN family…. It’s beyond me. I’ll never know.

She went straight to my car without even coming upstairs, called me from the car to let me know she was waiting for me. Her reasoning? "Beaker is a douche bag." Ohkayyy.

We went straight to my mom’s house, and that was yet another fiasco. While I was wrapping up my niece’s gifts and finishing getting ready, apparently my mom attempted to have a talk with my sister and pissed her off. Then, to top it all of, my mother decided to sit on top of my sister, trying to joke around and everything, and accidentally pulled out my sister’s nose ring. I guess pulling it out caused it to break. My sister walked out of the house freaking out because "Mom! I need a new nose ring now!" She left and went back to her friend’s house. Whatever.
My mom tried to get her to come back, drove to get her in the car, and failed. That pretty much broke her, she came back and started arguing with her husband. (I can’t keep up with all the reasons why he’s an asshole now, and why she’s going to leave him. It’s a daily occurrence. Honestly, that would be like keeping up with all of Lindsay Lohan’s lawsuits or whatever.) The arguments were complete with verbal and physical abuse between the two of them. Joy. That lasted a good hour, hour and a half.
It was nearing 12, and my brother and Mindy were supposed to be there by noon. I called them at 12:25, because I had to go to my grandma’s at 2:30, come to find out that they haven’t even left it. It was 1:15 by the time they finally arrived.
Immediately, we exchanged and opened up gifts because I didn’t have much time. By the time that was finished, it was time for me to go. Lyrical (my niece) was absolutely in love with the gift I got her. It was the first time she opened and she wasn’t even interested in anything else. This is what I got her:

Buying a gift for my niece’s first Christmas was nice, but the fact that she loved it so much honestly made my Christmas.

It’s been a very disappointing Christmas Eve, but I’m holding onto the good things. The little things. Looks like I’m ready for another cup of coffee.

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope your Christmases are white and merry!
I’m waking up and having delicious french toast casserole in the morning. Yum, yum!