New beginnings…

I started work today and it went well, as expected. I’m not being conceited when I talk like this, just realistic. I don’t do things for myself unless I do them all the way. For myself, there is no half assed anything. It’s all or nothing. So when I say it went well as expected, its because there is no other way. Whenever I bring up topics like these I wonder why I can’t force myself to be like that in every aspect of life and not just when it’s for myself, period. If I could give it my all in this way for something that I didn’t want 100% it wouldn’t kill me, so why can’t I force myself to? Why can I only excel in the things I want and not the things I need…?