Where to begin…

First of all, to the noter in my last entry that says that thats the way its supposed to be in the army and theres nothing you can do about it…you’re absolutely right…but the fact of the matter is that i’m NOT in the army and having nothing to do with the army so I didn’t expect it to be this way…I was just telling someone that if I would’ve gone into the army then all this crap would’ve been expected and wouldn’t be so bad but the fact of the matter is that I DIDN’T go to the army so I shouldn’t have to deal with this…!!!

Second of all, I was looking into the admission criteria on the website of the university that I want to go to and it turns out that army/national service is NOT a necessity…even though it says it on the site i’m going to call them soon to verify but do you know what that means if its true…? It means that nothing should be holding me back from just up and leaving this place thats making me so miserable…nothing…so why am I still here? My sense of responsibility to this place and my country…my sense of work ethic which has been instilled in me since I was old enough to understand…my need to not leave someone hanging and at a loss for workers…but if they don’t give a damn about me why should I give a damn about them…? So now that i’ve found out that the only thing tying myself to this place is my insecurity…what am I to do…?