October 14, 2003

Lost and not Found

Yeah, writing this at some odd and obscure time as 10:30pm….Lol…Well, I don’t know what to do with my life anymore at all. There is a war going on around here and no one is playing fair. I don’t like to think of it like that. But to the point of all this, I becoming a horrible person, uncaring and cold. I am being mean and no one here really knows me really well so therefor no one really knows how I deal with situations…and I miss my friends at home and people that know me better than I know myself.

Kerri left me a note yesterday or today and I read it and cried my eyes out. I miss home and I miss those people that have known me forever…those people that are my past and what make me, me…..I feel like I have made a really really HUGE mistake in moving, but I can’t go back…And this whole situation with Dennis and all these people telling me what I should and should not do….I am sick of it. I will do what I want and in this situation I don’t want to do anything about it. I don’t really care anymore about it. It will never work out and the fight is just to fucking huge.

But I don’t really have anything to say about much anymore…I am not happy and yet not unhappy so to speak and that is just the way it works now a days….You don’t have to be happy to live…And my friend Danelle got kicked out, and so we are trying to get our own place and struggling and so life is life….lol.

~~Much Love and Peace~~

awhl…my poor ickle kelli! (okay i’ll stop the sarcasm)…i luvz ya sweetie even if u are up in nc and i won’t get to see u when i go to the parents…i don’t care if u move to india…u can’t get rid of me that easily…even if i have to join the peace corp (me in that hah) to get to ya! don’t let them get u down…u just moved so u’ll make friends and they’ll get to understanding u… HUGGLES!!

Kelli, Hey girl. Im sorry to hear about the stuff that is going on around you i pray that it will work out for you, nobody needs to live like that. I hope that you and your friend find a place to live and everything will change for the better…maybe one day you can come back home and people everyone again…you never know what a little praying can do you for you…just hang in there and pray…

for the best…if you need to chat just im me or email me or write in my diary….

Breath for a moment…It’s okay…Durn…I haven’t been on this thing in a while. My mother’s boss is suffering from personal loss so I’m just sitting here alone. I find it’s relaxing…Then Jack comes home and ruins my mood. That moron. UGH… Stay safe…Shyt…Do what ya can. *rolls eye to self* Dayum, I feel like Rikki Lake these days…EWW…Not a nice feeling. *grins* Kerri