The Aftermath…It is what it is….

Last night after I got done speaking my mind on here, in cause you missed it, check back to yesterdays entry. Ok, now that you have been there and done that come back here..LoL. Like I was saying, after I got done saying what was on my mind yesterday, I decided to call her and apologize. Why, I don’t know. Actually I do. It all goes back to me being honest, saying how I felt, and how I would like things to be. I came to realize this moring, among a pounding headache, that I should have never acted the way I did. I kinda blew things out of the water, but then again, according to a few people.. I did good. I think I did alright. Not sure if the fact that we are nothing more than friends was made clear. I was speaking to a co-worker today, and I kinda told him what went down. He looked at me and said, well I guess you did good. Then again, you are wrong, cause you are not together. It was really an eye opener of a conversation that I had with him, and I can honestly say, that i fell alright. I think it will still bother me, not knowing the unknown, but then again, if I knew it, then my life would not be so xciting and intresting. Ha, yeah ok kinda like pulling a rabbit out of a hat on that one. Bottom line is, every one still has the ability to leave private notes. Those private notes are private for a reason. Some things are better not seen by others. Just the sender and the reciever. I have never been fond of hiding my thoughts or my comments so I choose to not do it. Others might choose to do it, to keep people from finding out the true intentions that are inside them. To each there own. If I am heading for a heartbreak, then I am going to go full steam ahead. That way when I hit the wall, I might not want to stand back up and go a second round. I have never hit such wall, and I hope I don’t. But if I do, might as well do it all out. That way, maybe next time, my dumbass will learn not to pretend to read too much into something, but to actually analize all the angles before I speak my mind..lol

Finally got my Mario Kart Double Dash for Gamecube. 20 bucks later, I am happy. Could it have been better sure. But I was not xpecing much from it. All in all, I got it just to say that i have it. MMM Hear a list pun thing going on..Anywhom, so I played it, and it hasn’t changed much. Basicly most of the tracks are on Mario Kart for DS, so I have played them. I didn’t really play much, cause I had other fish to fry, but it was all good. It will give me somehting to do now that survivor is over with. How sad..no more Parv.

Work is going smoothly. The b&ch of the boss lady, hasn’t talked to me in two weeks, which is fine with me. I can honestly say, there is no going back there. To be honest, I kinda like it better this way. I get more work done, and times goes by faster. What else could I want right. Well for her to not even show up to work at all..lol. Na, its alright, she just dosen’t know any better. If you meet her, you would think the same. Talk about uneducated, rude, and just plain dumb. Gee how many people have a boss like that…

I finally broke down, and ordered my new digital camera. Its a Lumix. Don’t know much about it, but from the reviews I read, it seems like a good camera. 8.1 Pix and 18 optical zoom. Rechargeable battery, so basicly, I think I did good. Guess I will have to wait to get it. It won’t ship till next thurday cause I got it from Panasonic Direct. Guess they don’t keep them in stock, so they sent the parts to china or japan for them to make it. Ah, oh well, if I don’t like it..ebay here we come..lol

In closing, I must say that I am still wondering whatever it is that I am suppose to wonder. I still have questions that I need to ask and answer myself, but I don’t seem to find the time to think about them. Every time that i say, mm I am going to think about all this, I have to have me some Glenlivet and Sprite and well the torment begins. Guess I need to stop drinking..but it is soooo fun..Lol. Its all good. If anything I will keep making myself believe that everything is fine, and that I am the only one. That that break wall is miles aways, and that maybe by the time I get to it, I can just hurdle myself over it, and everything will be alright. Rob Thomas comes to mine..how does a heartbreak feel??? That is the question of the night…

Goodnight JP…