TIRED

I AM SO TIRED AND FRUSTRATED BECAUSE I AM FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO COPE.

I WAS ALWAYS A PERSON WHO ENJOYED BEING ALONE AND DOING MY THING.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME. IT’S ALMOST TWO YEARS SINCE MY HUSBAND DIED.

I DON’T KNOW WHY I CAN’T RELAX AND JUST LIVE MY LIFE.

I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT. I GUESS PART OF THE PROBLEM IS I’M NOT SURE WHAT I WANT TO DO.

TODAY I SPOKE TO MY SIL ABOUT MOVING TO TORONTO. I DON’T THINK IT IS A GOOD IDEA. MY TWO SONS ARE HERE AND I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE THEM. ONCE I MOVE I DON’T KNOW HOW OFTEN I WOULD SEE THEM. I’M USE TO MY DAUGHTER BEING AWAY AS SHE WENT TO UNIVERSITY IN FORT LAUDERDALE AND THEN MOVED TO TORONTO.

I’M OK MOST OF THE DAY. I THINK IT’S AT NIGHT WHEN I CAN’T FALL ASLEEP THAT I GET UPSET. I JUST TOOK A TYLENOL BECAUSE MY SHOULDER HURTS AND I COULDN’T FIND A PLACE FOR MYSELF IN BED.

I WORRY ABOUT MY FINANCES. I WONDER IF I CAN TRUST THE BROKER I HAVE.  CAN I TRUST HIM? I WILL ASK MY ACCOUNTANT TOMORROW. I WILL SEND HIM AN EMAIL SOON.

IN TORONTO I WOULD HAVE MY DAUGHTER, MY SISTER, AND MY TWO FAVOURITE COUSINS INCLUDING NIECES AND NEPHEWS.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND MYSELF. I USE TO BE SO STRONG. MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WAS ALWAYS AROUND AND NOW I AM GETTING OLDER.

SO IT’S BACK TO BED. HOPEFULLY I’LL FALL ASLEEP.