Crying…and all that comes with it…

He wrote a song.

He wrote me a letter.

And all it’s done is made me cry more.

He walked around outside church this morning and it was all I could do to not go hug him and cry with him.  His sadness…his loneliness…broke my heart.

What I hate most about this is that, above all, I can’t stand to see him hurting.  And we both know that this was not just what I said last night.  This wasn’t just me saying what needed to be said.  But still, my heart hurts for him.  He’s broken and I can’t fix it.  I want so bad to fix it.  To fix us.

I told him once that I don’t think he had a clear definition of love.  Not that there is one.  It’s different for everyone.  But he doesn’t know what his own definition of love is.  And because of that, I could understand why he wasn’t sure if he was in love with me.  But is it possible for him to find his definition?

Losing your best friend is the hardest thing in the world.

Try not to do it.